Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In these days, individuals would like to purchase a wide variety of clothes, in many parts of the world. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons behind this trend and will explain how people can decrease their shopping.

To begin with, there are a myriad of reasons for this, but the most vital one is hobby to purchase new and differenr clothes. To explain more, shopping is the most popular hobby for the most of the people, especially younger generations. While going mall just for fun, people will see the clothe shops, and if they like clothes, they will purchase it. Likewise, it is also strategies for shopkeeper. They put most attractive clothes on the display, in that way people get attract. Moreover, people are incline to celebrate a number of festivals even though western culture festivals. For instance, Indian citizens celebrate halloween day which is belong to europen cultures. As a result, for each new festival they buy new consumes for that.

However, reducing these purchase has many ways. Firstly, people should understand the wastage of the clothes has detrimental effect on the environment. By providing awarness compaiges and posters will help residents to understand throughly the importance of the clothes. In addition to that, they should know about that buying new pair of clothes is not important in every festivals, but celebrating with pure heart and kindness is crucial. Consequentaly, this will not only promote awareness but also saves their money.

In conclusion, considering shopping as hobby and celebrating differents festivals are the primary reason behind this trend which will reduce by spreding public awarness and importance of festivals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question: you identify shopping as a hobby, attractive shop displays and festival-related purchases as reasons, then suggest awareness campaigns and posters as ways to reduce buying. These points are relevant, and the conclusion restates your main ideas. However, some explanations are less fully developed than others. For example, the link between shop displays and people buying too many clothes is briefly stated, while the festival example would benefit from explaining why buying a new outfit for each celebration contributes to excessive consumption. Your solutions also focus mainly on awareness; adding a practical measure, such as repairing, reusing or swapping clothes, would make the response more complete and better supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, a paragraph on reasons, a paragraph on solutions and a conclusion. The progression from causes to ways of reducing purchases is easy to follow, and signposts such as “To begin with,” “Moreover” and “Firstly” help guide the reader. This organisation is effective, though some linking is mechanical and a few connections are unclear. For instance, “In addition to that” introduces a related point, but the relationship between celebrating festivals sincerely and reducing clothing purchases could be made more explicit. The conclusion also compresses the argument into one sentence. To strengthen cohesion further, use clearer references between ideas and develop each paragraph around a more explicit central point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “detrimental effect on the environment,” “public awareness” and “primary reason.” These choices show an effort to express ideas beyond basic language. However, inaccurate word forms, spelling and collocations are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning less natural, as in “hobby to purchase,” “people get attract” and “new consumes.” There are also repeated general terms such as “clothes” and “people,” which limits precision. Build accuracy by learning common word partnerships and checking spelling and word forms. For example, “clothing consumption,” “be attracted to” and “costumes” would fit the intended meanings more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple sentences and attempts at more complex structures, including “While going mall just for fun…” and “this will not only promote awareness but also saves their money.” This gives the response some variety, and the main ideas are generally understandable. However, there are some recurring errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles and verb forms. For example, “While going mall” lacks a clear subject and article, while “reducing these purchase has many ways” has an awkward grammatical structure and number agreement. In the final sentence, “which will reduce” does not clearly refer to the trend. Aim to form complete clauses with clear subjects, and check agreement and verb forms when joining ideas. More accurate complex sentences would improve control.

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