Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some parts of the world, people buy far too many clothes.

What are the reasons for this?
How can people be persuaded to reduce the number of clothes they buy?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

No doubt, Nowadays most of the people would like to buy many clothes as compared to the past. There are so many reasons of this phenomen which I will discuss in the upcoming paragraphs and I also discuss the ways how we can reduce the number of clothes to buy.

To begin with, First and foremost is that nowadays mostly young people love to buy clothes because there are using different kind of social media apps and they can easily see the advertisement on it related to clothes then they buy it. In other words,they try to follow the western culture. They have their own needs. For instance, some people feel very happy when they buy clothes for himself. Shopping gives them a internal satisfaction.Secondly, some individuals have ideal they try to follow them. By wearing every day new clothes they want to show their status in front of others.They want to look different as compared to others. It is not only providing them happiness but also they cand show new trend.

There are so many ways to reduce the number of clothes which people love to buy. We can putt some advertisement on internet related to consumerism how it putts bad effect on our financial budget. We can start campaign also It gives them knowledge why it is essential to reduce the number of clothes.

To conclude, there are so many reasons why people would love to purchase things, we cannot ignored the positives of this.By posting advertisement, compaign we can aware people to decrese the number of clothes because it is wasteful.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question: social-media advertising, status, and the pleasure of shopping are offered as reasons, while online campaigns and advertisements are suggested as ways to reduce purchases. These points are relevant, but several remain general or unclear. For example, “They have their own needs” does not explain what needs lead to buying excess clothing, and the proposed campaigns are not described in enough detail to show how they would change behaviour. The conclusion also says “we cannot ignore the positives” without explaining what those positives are or how they relate to reducing purchases. Develop fewer ideas more fully, with a specific example and a clearer explanation of how each solution would work.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure, with an introduction, a paragraph on reasons, a paragraph on solutions, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “Secondly,” and “To conclude” help readers follow the main stages. However, some linking is mechanical or confusing: “First and foremost” follows “To begin with,” and “In other words” introduces a point about following Western culture rather than restating the preceding idea. Several sentences run together, while the solutions paragraph is much shorter and less developed than the reasons paragraph. Use paragraphing and transitions to show clearer relationships between ideas, and connect each proposed solution directly to a reason for overbuying.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “advertisement,” “social media,” “status,” “consumerism,” and “financial budget,” so the reader can identify the subject of the essay. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or repetitive, which sometimes makes meaning less clear. Examples include “phenomen,” “putt bad effect,” “show new trend,” and “we can aware people.” Repeated use of “buy,” “clothes,” and “people” also limits precision. Build a wider set of natural collocations for shopping habits and solutions, such as “impulse purchases,” “fashion trends,” and “raise awareness,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple sentences and longer structures, including a reason clause beginning “because” and a conditional idea in “when they buy clothes.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation sometimes make the reader pause. For example, “there are using” should be “they are using” or “they use,” while “some people feel very happy when they buy clothes for himself” has a pronoun-agreement problem. The opening also contains an incomplete construction: “I also discuss the ways how…” A few sentences are joined without appropriate punctuation, such as “Shopping gives them a internal satisfaction.Secondly…”. Practise accurate sentence patterns and proofread for agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries.

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