Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Crime has become a pressing concern in many communities. While some people argue that an efficient method to mitigate crime is to impose longer prison sentences on criminals, others believe that there are better alternatives to reducing it. This essay will discuss both views before explaining why I agree that proper education and public-awareness campaigns can be more effective in reducing criminal activity.
On the one hand, supporters of custodial sentences contend that longer imprisonment can be more effective to prevent illegal activity. When offenders are suffering from extensive jail punishment for their unlawful acts such as a murder, sexual assaults and thefts, their photos are displayed on the social networking sites and news channels. This can discourage potential criminals from engaging into further crimes by creating fear among them. As a result, this longer prison sentence may contribute to a significant decline in crime over the period, thereby combating criminal rate in society.
On the other hand, opponents support that there are several alternative way to mitigate this major issue. One significant measure is to introduce appropriate ethical education in school. By teaching children about identifying between right and wrong in school, a considerable number of potential crimes can be reduced in the future. Another effective way is the public-awareness programs. Government authorities should organize public events for inhabitants highlighting the important of peaceful society and negative consequences of the illegal acts. Consequently, this programs can lead people to convert their negative thoughts into positive and result in a gradual reduction in criminal activity.
In conclusion, although longer prison sentences are able to reduce some extend of crime by creating fear among the potential offenders, I believe that proper civic education and public-awareness campaigns can be effective alternative measures to tackle this concern.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
The response effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both views on how to reduce crime and clearly presenting a personal stance favouring education and public awareness. The ideas are generally well developed and supported. For instance, the discussion on custodial sentences explains the mechanism of deterrence through public exposure, while the alternative view outlines specific measures like ethical education in schools and government programs. However, the tone and structure strongly resemble an Academic Task 2 essay rather than a General Training Task 1 letter, indicating a potential misunderstanding of the task type. Nevertheless, all parts of the prompt are addressed with a clear position throughout, aligning well with the Band 7 descriptors.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0
The essay displays a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, moving from a well-formulated introduction to body paragraphs presenting contrasting views, and concluding with a summary of the writer's stance. Cohesive devices are used reasonably well, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'Consequently', which help guide the reader through the arguments. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. However, referencing and transitional phrases occasionally feel slightly mechanical, preventing the score from reaching a higher band. Overall, the flow of information is logical and easy to follow, fitting comfortably within the Band 7 criteria.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.5
The student demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary with some flexibility and precision, employing less common items such as 'mitigate', 'custodial sentences', 'deterrence', and 'public-awareness campaigns'. There are, however, some noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'engaging into further crimes' instead of 'engaging in', 'alternative way' instead of 'alternative ways', and 'combatting criminal rate' instead of 'crime rates'. Additionally, there is a minor grammatical error with pluralisation in 'this programs'. Despite these occasional inaccuracies, the vocabulary is adequate to convey the meaning clearly, supporting a Band 6.5 performance.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including conditional or participial clauses like 'When offenders are suffering from...' and 'By teaching children about...'. There is a reasonable variety of sentence forms, but errors in grammar and punctuation do occur. Examples include prepositional errors ('engaging into'), article omissions or misuse ('the important of peaceful society'), and subject-verb agreement issues ('this programs'). These errors do not impede communication, but they persist frequently enough to prevent the grammar score from reaching Band 7, making Band 6 a more accurate reflection of current control.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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