Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-07
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Helo thank you everyone, im greatful to be here in front of you , first of all i would like to thank mr.jay shah to awarded me this Great opportunity . This me rahil khan , all the way from Afghanistan , i have done my FSc from ayubi model college timergara (Pakistan) . I'm 17 Year old . and now I'm currently searching for full funded schorlships , because i belong to poor family , and my family can't afford my education expenses , so that's why i find fully funded schorlship .The big benefit of fully funded schorlship is that the given administration give me monthly stipend . and this is the big chance for me and when i go to abroad . i pursue my BECHELOR study . and aslo work . my favorite country is Scotland . the capital of Scotland is Edinburgh. Edinburgh is very beautiful Capital
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The response gives some relevant personal information: you introduce yourself, explain that your family cannot afford your education, and mention your wish to study abroad in Scotland. However, the task is addressed only partially because the main points are brief and not clearly developed. For example, you say that a scholarship provides a monthly stipend, but do not explain how this would help you meet your educational needs. Your plans to “pursue my BECHELOR study” and work abroad are also unclear, and the final comment about Edinburgh being beautiful is not connected to a developed purpose. Make sure each required point in the original task is answered directly, then add specific details to explain your reasons and plans.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The ideas can be followed in a basic sequence: greeting and thanks, personal background, financial need, and future plans. This gives the response some overall organisation. However, it is presented as one continuous block, and the frequent use of “and,” “because,” and “so that’s why” makes the connections repetitive rather than clear. Some transitions are also abrupt, such as moving from the scholarship benefit to going abroad and then to Scotland. Use separate paragraphs for your introduction, background and scholarship need, and future plans. Within them, use a small range of clear linking phrases and make sure each sentence connects logically to the next.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use enough basic vocabulary to communicate the main subject, including “fully funded scholarship,” “monthly stipend,” “education expenses,” and “capital.” These terms show some awareness of the topic. However, the range is limited, and repeated phrases such as “fully funded scholarship” and “big” make the writing sound repetitive. Several spelling and word-choice errors, including “greatful,” “schorlships,” and “BECHELOR,” may slow the reader. Some expressions are also unnatural, such as “the given administration give me monthly stipend.” Learn accurate spelling for key education terms and practise natural collocations, for example, “receive a monthly stipend” and “pursue a bachelor’s degree.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response mainly uses simple sentence patterns, with a few attempts to connect ideas using “because” and “when.” The basic meaning is usually understandable, but errors in sentence formation and verb forms are frequent enough to limit clarity. For example, “I would like to thank Mr. Jay Shah to awarded me” needs an infinitive construction, while “the given administration give me” has a subject–verb agreement problem. The sentence beginning “and now I’m currently searching” is not properly joined to the preceding sentence, and “when I go to abroad” has an incorrect grammatical pattern. Practise complete sentences, accurate verb forms, articles, and punctuation, then check each sentence for a clear subject and verb.
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