Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Health is a crucial thing to make you feel better and happy.people should not make them unimportant they should not do cearless towards yheir life.

According to this questions,nowday a lot of people suffers from health issues and mental illness.They never wanted to go with doctor concerns with problem .randomly going on clinic and have some medicine that not good for health.

A many people suffers from health problem by her own choice they never choose to go to the doctor they are doing unusual treatement rather showing with doctor. They listen to random persons opinion and they follow the path of it.

In my opinion,i think it is a negative impact because you took a random treatement but ypu dont choose to go to the real doctor its gonna effect your own health. i dont have any opinion about the positive side of this things because that is wrong not to show what happend to your health. Not concern for your health gonna be very difficult in future. for example i have a friend she has a suffers from a kidney stone , one of my another friend suggest that they should go for prist they remove their stone problem she went the

re but the problem increase and again she went to the doctor it ended the problem.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear negative view, especially in “it is a negative impact,” and the example about your friend’s kidney stone is relevant to the risks of avoiding a doctor. However, the response addresses the issue only partially: the reasons are repeated rather than developed, and the positive side is dismissed without considering whether alternative treatments might sometimes help. The example also needs clearer explanation of what treatment was used and how it worsened the problem. The response is 30 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to explain and support your position. To strengthen the answer, develop two distinct reasons and explain each with a specific example or consequence.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has separate paragraphs and a recognisable progression from a general opening to the issue, your opinion, and an example. The kidney-stone story gives the final paragraph a relevant supporting detail. However, ideas are not consistently arranged into a clear line of reasoning: the second and third paragraphs repeat that people avoid doctors and follow others’ advice, while the final paragraph combines several points in a long, difficult-to-follow sequence. Linking phrases such as “According to this questions” do not clearly show the relationship between ideas, and references such as “they” are sometimes unclear. Give each paragraph one purpose, use straightforward links such as “One reason is…” and “For example…”, and make the example’s sequence explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use basic vocabulary relevant to health and treatment, including “health issues,” “mental illness,” “doctor,” and “kidney stone,” so the main topic is generally identifiable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or spellings make the message difficult to read, such as “randomly going on clinic,” “unusual treatement,” and “prist.” Some phrases are also imprecise or repetitive, including “health problem” and “problem” in close succession. Aim to use accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “seek medical advice,” “alternative treatment,” and “worsened the condition” would help you express the argument clearly without relying on repeated general words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, and the reader can usually identify your main position. However, grammatical errors are frequent and sometimes distort meaning. Examples include “a lot of people suffers,” where the subject and verb do not agree, and “they never wanted to go with doctor concerns with problem,” where the sentence structure and relationships between ideas are unclear. Articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “a kidney stone” and the run-on sequence beginning “for example i have a friend.” Use short, complete sentences first, checking subject–verb agreement and articles; then practise joining ideas with accurate clauses and punctuation.

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