Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

These days, an increasing quantity of individuals' with healh-related issues are trying other medicines and treatments rather than to consult with their usual doctor. The main cause of the concept is that many people are influenced by religious beliefs, which causes them to try alternative treatments. I beleive this can have a negative development to the public because they are mislead by religious notions and may result of their disease in worsening.

On the one hand, the primary reason for individuals finding another treatments or medicines is due to religious concepts. This is because they are manipulated into buying and trying religious artifacts and they are mislead with information that these treatments may heal their illnesses or diseases. In addition, religious treatments are not expensive and thus individuals will often resort in buying these medicines as a way of saving their money. For instance, in rural areas of the Philippines a lot of Filipinos prefer to be consulted with a spiritual healer because they are cheap in terms of transportation and medical expenses. As a result, individuals choosing these kind of treatments often result in wasting their money and worsening their disease.

In addition, I believe this can have a detrimental development towards the public because they might share it to other people causing a chain reaction and may possibly lead in worsening their illnesses or disease and wasting their money. That is to say, certain people sometimes accept rumors without investigating them and hence it will often lead to trying these kind of herbal treatments. For example, a person has shared her or his experiences to their friends about the treatment, claiming it as an effective way to heal their diseases and illnesses. Therefore, those friends will believe the person and will potentially try in participating these kind of treatments resulting in a waste of money and increasing their risk of developing their diseases or illnesses.

In conclusion, the main reason of the notion is that a lot of people try alternative medicines such as religious artifacts because they are affordable and I firmly believe that this belief can have a negative development towards society because it can often results in wasting their money and worsening the disease or illness.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you consider the trend negative, and you give relevant reasons, including the risk of worsening illness and the influence of religious beliefs or word-of-mouth. The examples about spiritual healers in rural Philippines and friends repeating someone’s claims help illustrate these points. This addresses the task, but the discussion focuses mainly on why people choose alternatives and the possible harms; it gives less attention to the broader consequences or to distinctions between different alternative treatments. Some claims, such as that these treatments lead to wasted money, are repeated rather than developed with further explanation. To strengthen the response, explain more precisely how delaying a doctor’s diagnosis or treatment can harm patients, and qualify broad claims with a specific, well-supported example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present reasons, and a conclusion restates your position. Linking phrases such as “On the one hand,” “In addition,” and “For instance” make the sequence easy to follow. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and the second body paragraph repeats the first paragraph’s points about worsening illness and financial loss rather than advancing the argument. Some references are also unclear, particularly “it” and “these kind of treatments,” where the reader must infer the exact referent. Give each paragraph a distinct purpose, use pronouns only when their reference is unmistakable, and vary linking language so that connections between ideas feel more natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “alternative treatments,” “spiritual healer,” “detrimental,” and “chain reaction,” which helps communicate your argument. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, such as “an increasing quantity of individuals,” “another treatments,” “resort in buying,” and “negative development towards society.” Spelling errors including “healh-related,” “beleive,” and “mislead” also reduce accuracy. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, but they limit precision and naturalness. Aim for common, accurate combinations such as “a growing number of people,” “turn to alternative treatments,” and “a negative effect on society,” and check spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including cause-and-effect clauses with “because,” “which,” and “as a result.” Most of the argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “individuals' with healh-related issues” uses an unnecessary possessive, “rather than to consult” has an awkward parallel structure, and “a lot of people try … because they are affordable” has unclear agreement between the people and the treatments. There are also errors in patterns such as “result in worsening” and “will often resort in buying.” Review subject–verb agreement, countable plurals, and verb patterns after “rather than” and “result.” More consistently accurate complex sentences would make your reasoning easier to follow.

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