Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent days, a significant number of individuals with health issues are opting for alternative medication rather than visiting their usual doctor. I believe this is a negative developing because of it drawbacks.

On the one hand, this developnment is a negtive developnment because of the side of effect. self medication has taken a lot of lives in my socity, this is because these herbal medication do not usully come with dosage and it happens that individuals that indulge in such as tend to take overdose of the medicines. For Instance,On the 21th April 2000, River state government recorded mortality rate of about 67% which was caused by individual taking drugs that was prescired by a doctor, it was said that those people lacked the finanical capacity of going to their hospital at that time and they decided to get medicine by themseleve without proper evalution.

Secondly, some people perfer to take herbal because they believe they are purely made of natural substance forgetting that does liquid needs to be prevered properly so it would not spoil. For example, The World Health organization carried out a search in Edo Sate in 2006 and that was recorded that the local do not go to the hospital they perfer taking herbs because it is natural but a lady took over fermented herbal drugs and purged to death.

In conclusion, the act of self medication instead of returning to the doctor is totally wrong because of it negative impact on the soceity. should be treated with urgency by the government

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you consider replacing a usual doctor with alternative treatment a negative development, and you give two relevant reasons—unsafe dosage and the risk of improperly stored or fermented remedies. The examples about people taking medicines without medical evaluation and the woman who became seriously ill help illustrate these concerns. However, the first example is confusing: it refers to drugs “prescired by a doctor” while also saying people obtained medicine themselves, so the link to your argument is unclear. The second reason also needs fuller explanation of how consulting a doctor could prevent the harm. Develop each point with a clearer cause-and-effect explanation and ensure examples directly support your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate reasons, and a conclusion restates your position. “On the one hand” and “Secondly” signal the progression, so the reader can follow the main line of argument. However, the first transition is not well matched to the structure, and some links between ideas are unclear, particularly in the first example, where the account of doctor-prescribed drugs conflicts with the claim that people self-medicated. The conclusion’s final sentence is also disconnected from the preceding one. Use transitions that accurately show the relationship between points, and make references and example details connect explicitly to the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “alternative medication,” “dosage,” “overdose,” “herbal medication,” and “natural substance,” which helps communicate the subject. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response difficult to read, such as “developnment,” “perfer,” “prevered,” and “evalution.” Some expressions are also imprecise or unnatural, including “the side of effect,” “took over fermented herbal drugs,” and “purged to death.” Aim to learn accurate forms and collocations as complete phrases, and choose precise wording for medical outcomes. This would make your argument clearer and more appropriate for an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, for example, “this is because these herbal medication do not usully come with dosage” and the sentence beginning “For example, The World Health organization carried out a search…”. However, errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries occur across the response. Examples include “these herbal medication,” “a lady took,” and the run-on construction “self medication has taken a lot of lives in my socity, this is because…”. The conclusion also begins a sentence fragment: “should be treated with urgency by the government.” Use full stops to separate complete ideas, check singular and plural agreement, and make sure each sentence has a clear subject and verb. More accurate control of these patterns would improve readability.

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