Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-07-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.
Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In the modern era the contemporary issue of health complications has been raising rapidly.People are becoming more advanced in treating themselves with out approaching a qualified Physician or Doctor.
It is a completely negative development.This essay will discuss the key reasons and relevant examples to my opinion.
Firstly,To avoid such prolonged medicines in life the there should be fewer modifications need to be done in the lifestyle pattern like Maintaning a proper diet,sleep pattern, Excessive consumption of processed food, involving in physical activities.
These habits will definitely be assured for the daily life happily.The people are becoming more addictive to the sedentary lifestyle and growing proportion of the life detaching with the social media.These qualities will be heading to the health issues and concluded to use the medicines and treatment for such serious problems.
On the Other hand the public are acquiring the knowledge from the online platforms there are browsing there illness and symptoms and going under medications without any physical examination of the body.These type of self treatment and using of medicines will be definately will be spoiling the mechanism of the body.And leading to such side effects and also leads to life threatened.Moreover,such type of online remedies or self therapy will cause the vital organs too.
It is better to visit the doctor at the initial stage of the illness and clinical test will be be deciding the root cause of the problem.
Take an example - In Tokyo the 15 years girl has taken the herbal juice after mixing serval leaves of the trees has been diagnosed with the Blood infection after the consumption of this juice.
In conclusion,I strongly believes that without consulting the Health care expert no drugs or self treatment should be taken to prevent from various side effects.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the trend is negative. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. The first body paragraph is somewhat confusing, as it focuses on lifestyle changes rather than directly explaining why alternative medicine is a negative development. The second paragraph is more relevant, discussing the dangers of self-diagnosis and online remedies. The example provided is specific but lacks sufficient integration into the argument. To improve, ensure that every paragraph directly supports the central thesis and that ideas are fully extended with clear logical links to the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical progression between ideas is often disjointed. While some cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'Firstly', 'On the other hand', 'In conclusion'), they are sometimes used mechanically or incorrectly. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'These qualities will be heading to the health issues', where the antecedent is ambiguous. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks a smooth flow, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument's development. Improved use of linking words and clearer topic sentences would enhance coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary range is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'concluded to use the medicines' instead of 'leading to the use of medicines' and 'life threatened' instead of 'life-threatening'. Some phrases are used incorrectly, such as 'growing proportion of the life detaching with the social media'. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of precision and the frequent errors in word formation and collocation prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise academic terms would be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. For example, 'the 15 years girl has taken' should be 'a 15-year-old girl took', and 'These type of self treatment... will be definately will be spoiling' contains redundant and incorrect verb forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods and commas. While the writer attempts some complex sentences, these are often marred by errors that occasionally impede clarity. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common grammatical slips is essential.
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