Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In contemporary society, the number of people is increasing who have health problems and they prefer an alternative medicine like online checkup or an ayurveda medicine instead of a conventional medicine because of advancement of technology. I believe that it is a negative development. Therefore the reasons and relevant examples will be discuss in the following paragraphs.

To begin with, technology becomes advanced day by day, thus people are using internet for treatments and it can causes significant problems. First and foremost, online consultant is popular among people and they are using for treatment of disease. Nevertheless, it is not provide reliable evaluation and information regarding medicines and chronic disease. For instance, a health app which provides online health checkups and treatment but sometime it is not valid like cancer and asthma disease on the ground that doctors cannot examine virtually.

Moreover, there are also negative effect which cannot be negligible. Firstly, online consultancy is not safe because it can leak information like patients data and disease data which is very important. Consequently, it is not credibility. For example, many people use online platforms for treatment but it involves risk of privacy. In addition, some people prefer an ayurveda medicine but its effect and power is very low, hence people can take medicine longer duration and without expert observation it can cause serious problems result in death like situation.

To sum up, although people prefer online treatment due to advancement of technology, it has colossal drawbacks such as privacy issue, not provide complete care and treatment. Therefore people should rely on conventional medicine.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the trend is negative. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention online consultations and Ayurveda, the arguments are repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the point about 'privacy' is mentioned but not fully explored in the context of medical treatment. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific, well-supported examples rather than general statements. The conclusion is brief and does not fully synthesize the points made in the body paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a distinct, well-developed argument to improve the overall quality of your response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Nevertheless', and 'Consequently', which help the reader follow your argument. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is slightly disrupted by awkward phrasing (e.g., 'Therefore the reasons and relevant examples will be discuss'). Referencing is generally clear, but the connection between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will help you achieve a higher score in this criterion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'good', 'bad', or 'problems' and repeat words such as 'medicine' and 'treatment' frequently. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'death like situation' and 'it is not credibility'. To improve, you should aim to use more academic collocations and precise terminology related to healthcare and technology. Expanding your range of vocabulary will allow you to express your ideas with more nuance and clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'it can causes significant problems' (subject-verb agreement), 'it is not provide' (verb form), and 'the reasons... will be discuss' (passive voice error). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some missing articles and awkward phrasing throughout. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency. While you attempt complex sentences, the high frequency of errors suggests that you should prioritize accuracy in your sentence construction before attempting more complex structures.

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