Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.
Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.
Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? In contemporary society, health problems have become a topic of intense debate. Recently, a large number of individuals with health-related problems are testing alternative ways to cure their disease, rather than going to a doctor. In my view, this phenomenon represents a mixed development; while it saves their money and builds personal independence, it poses a significant risk to their life in the long run.
On the one hand, when people go for alternative medicines or treatments, it significantly saves money and promotes self-dependence. In today's technology-driven world, people can watch many health-related videos, which allow them to figure out their issues without going to doctors; consequently, they can save money and learn independently. For instance, People who are dealing with a financial crisis solve the minor health issues by watching online health-related videos and taking brisk walks on a daily basis.
On the other hand, it may pose a significant threat to their life in the long run due to wrong treatments. When people avoid going to a regular doctor and being dependent on other methods without taking suggestions from any specialist, it can lead to serious health hazards. For example, individuals who try to cure cardiovascular disease only by walking or following advice from online videos may prevent this disease for a while, but it would result in a heart attack in the future. hence, ignoring regular doctor guidelines completely may bring negative developments in human body.
To conclude, while it is true that searching for alternative treatments saves citizens' money and enables them to face difficult situations alone, it could also lead to a greater health problem if the treatment are being wrong.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the trend is a mixed development. The ideas are relevant, such as the financial benefits versus the health risks. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the example of using online videos to treat cardiovascular disease is a bit simplistic and lacks depth. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced examples or elaborate further on the implications of these health choices. The position is consistent throughout, but the conclusion could be more robust in summarizing the main arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the opposing viewpoints. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'consequently' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition to the final sentence in the second paragraph ('hence, ignoring...') feels a bit abrupt. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contemporary society', 'financial crisis', and 'cardiovascular disease'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'testing alternative ways to cure their disease' (should be 'exploring' or 'trying') and 'if the treatment are being wrong' (grammatically incorrect phrasing). While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, the control is not always precise. To improve, focus on more natural collocations and ensure that your word choices are contextually accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that persist. For example, 'if the treatment are being wrong' is a subject-verb agreement error, and 'People who are dealing with a financial crisis solve the minor health issues' lacks an article. Additionally, there are some punctuation and capitalization issues, such as starting a sentence with 'People' mid-paragraph and the lowercase 'hence' after a period. Increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences will help improve this score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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