Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

If we compare data of recent years to last 8-10 years, it remarkably show us the number of people who discourage the usual hospital visit, and they prefer to use alternative medicine on their own.

As far as i think this is a massive draw back of our health facilities, that are causing the people to think before going to their usual doctor or for usual checkups.

If we talk about pakistan, this can be caused by decreased in buying capacity and also inflation rate in country. Also, the prices of medical checkups are elevated in recent years. People prefer to their treatment of sickness on their own or they get medicine from chemist by just telling them their symptoms.

Another cause for avoiding the usual doctor visit can be the behavior of hospital staff or doctor, in this profession public dealing is highly concerned matter.

Nowdays, people do their research on their own, like social media, google or chatgpt. They oftenly misguided by these internet things. Because, they can not provide the history of them throughout. This lead unrecoverable damages to their health.

Sometimes people consider the symptoms are regular and their is no need to visit the doctor, and they try to take medicine on their own to avoid a large bill and time consumption to pay a visit to doctor, unknowingly they are making their health worse and it may lead to a permanent damage to their organs or may cause side effects of by the medicine.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by identifying the trend and taking a clear position that this is a negative development. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention economic factors and staff behavior in Pakistan, the analysis remains superficial. The argument regarding the dangers of self-diagnosis via the internet is relevant but lacks specific examples or deeper exploration. To improve, ensure each paragraph provides a clear topic sentence followed by detailed supporting evidence or logical consequences. The response meets the minimum length requirement, but the depth of argument needs to be expanded to reach higher bands.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by weak transitions. For instance, the transition between the economic causes in Pakistan and the issue of staff behavior is abrupt. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often repetitive or slightly misused (e.g., 'If we talk about pakistan', 'Another cause'). The paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks a cohesive thread, making the progression of ideas feel somewhat disjointed. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each sentence builds logically upon the previous one will enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing or incorrect word choices, such as 'discourage the usual hospital visit' (instead of 'avoid' or 'forgo') and 'public dealing is highly concerned matter' (instead of 'a significant concern'). You also use 'oftenly', which is not a standard English word. To improve, focus on learning collocations related to health and medical services and avoid relying on informal or non-standard vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'it remarkably show us'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'they can not provide the history of them throughout'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors suggests a need for more careful proofreading and a stronger grasp of basic sentence mechanics.

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