Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In a contemporary society, self-medication by a people has become a highly debated issue. While a segment of people claim that it has led to a higher impact on society, others strongly oppose this notion. From my standpoint, I strongly believe that it is a negative development for the community.

To commence with, the compelling reason for supporting my viewpoint is that experimenting with different medicines will lead to severe health issues. People do not have an ample of knowledge regarding to the treatment of any diseases, and they various experiments on themselves. This causes other side effects such as kidney problems and increased blood pressure, which can cause catastrophe and put an individual's life in danger. Therefore, visiting a doctor is very essential part of maintaining a healthy life.

Another noteworthy justification is that people mostly save their fortunes in order to visit a doctor. Because medical professionals charge a hefty amount that everybody cannot afford it. This creates a sense of fear, especially for middle-class families, and they try different home remedies to cure the disease. To cite an example,

good reputable doctors' charges are too high that the society nowadays prefers alternative medications to save their expense, this leads to serious effects in their lives and put their precious lives in danger. Hence, health is wealth; we cannot neglect this statement , in order to use other painkillers, we should rely on reliable medical advisors, as they are expert on their fields.

To sum up, this creates a negative development on society; individuals are not professional enough to treat their health issues in a sustainable manner. Consequently, visiting health care should be mandatory for everyone in case of any severe illness, they can get treatment in the right way.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that alternative medicine is a negative development. The main ideas—health risks and financial motivations—are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat repetitive. For instance, the argument about health risks is mentioned in the second paragraph and then echoed in the third. To reach a higher band, you should provide more distinct, well-supported arguments rather than restating the same points. The conclusion is a bit brief and does not fully synthesize the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Another noteworthy justification', and 'To sum up'. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'In a contemporary society' at the start. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the third paragraph where the link between the high cost of doctors and the conclusion about 'alternative medications' is slightly disjointed. Improving the flow between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. You use some good phrases like 'contemporary society' and 'hefty amount', but there are also instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'ample of knowledge' (should be 'ample knowledge') and 'various experiments on themselves' (should be 'conduct various experiments'). There is also some repetition of words like 'life' and 'development'. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include 'by a people' (should be 'by people'), 'regarding to' (should be 'regarding'), and 'everybody cannot afford it' (should be 'not everybody can afford'). There are also issues with punctuation, such as the comma splice in 'health is wealth; we cannot neglect this statement , in order to use other painkillers'. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors are frequent enough to prevent a higher score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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