Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.
Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
In the present day, a significantly increasing number of individuals with health problems are utilizing alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Although alternative medicines can sometimes be valuable, I personally believe that this is a negative development because certain health problems cannot be cured through medicines alone and alternative treatments can possibly aggravate the medical condition.
Looking at alternative medicines and treatments, these approaches can help cure minor health problems such as fevers and headaches but aren't able to cure major medical conditions such as pneumonia and diabetes. For instance, when a person has diabetes, he may be asked to visit his doctor's office every week for an injection, but when an individual has a fever, he may be asked to take medication instead. As a result, minor health problems can be cured by using alternative medicines and treatments.
Turning to the importance of visiting a doctor, there are plenty of benefits when visiting the doctor's office, such as discovering a medical condition. For example, when a patient usually visits his doctor every month for a checkup, sometimes the doctor, using his expertise, can discover that the patient has a medical condition. Consequently, the patient can receive appropriate treatment before the condition becomes more serious.
In conclusion, although alternative medicines and treatments can sometimes be beneficial, I firmly believe that using them instead of visiting the doctor is a negative development, as the doctor can detect a medical condition and cure it as soon as possible and identify major health problems.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses the prompt clearly and maintains a consistent position throughout. You have identified the topic as a negative development and provided reasons, such as the inability of alternative medicine to treat major conditions and the diagnostic value of professional medical check-ups. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the paragraph regarding minor health problems is slightly repetitive and lacks depth in explaining why relying on alternative medicine for these is specifically 'negative' rather than just 'ineffective'. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully explored with more nuanced reasoning or specific, real-world examples that go beyond general statements about diabetes or fevers.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, and you have used basic cohesive devices such as 'Although', 'For instance', 'As a result', and 'Turning to'. While the progression is clear, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. For instance, the transition 'Turning to the importance of visiting a doctor' is functional but could be more sophisticated. Additionally, the referencing within sentences is sometimes slightly clunky, such as the repeated use of 'the patient' or 'the doctor'. Improving the variety of linking words and pronouns would enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'utilizing', 'aggravate', 'expertise', and 'appropriate treatment'. However, the vocabulary is somewhat functional and lacks the precision or 'less common' lexical items that characterize higher bands. There is a tendency to repeat words like 'medicines', 'treatments', and 'doctor's office' rather than using synonyms or more academic collocations. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to healthcare, such as 'holistic approaches', 'evidence-based medicine', 'diagnostic capabilities', or 'clinical intervention', which would elevate the tone of the essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0
You show a good command of sentence structure, using a mix of simple and complex sentences. Most of your sentences are error-free, and your punctuation is generally accurate. You successfully use complex structures, such as 'Although alternative medicines can sometimes be valuable, I personally believe that...'. However, there is a lack of variety in your complex structures; you rely heavily on 'when' clauses and 'because' clauses. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate a wider range of grammatical forms, such as passive voice constructions (e.g., 'it is often argued that...') or conditional structures, while maintaining the high level of accuracy you have already demonstrated.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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