Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, health problem widely increase in across the world. It is believed that a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and better treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. I think it is a positive developments as much as negative developments. I strongly discuss this arguments number of people with health problems.

To commence with, people can try to use alternative medicines because which may small fewer or illness. As a result, they should not visit to the health clinic and doctors. I explain it because some people cannot afford high costs treatment in the hospital. Moreover, they prefer use to medicines and care of self. For example, Covid-19, many people had been suffering very serious health problems but doctors and staff had helped with individuals, because they can take risk without self safety.

On the other hand, regarding public funds, the government should invest a large amount of money in hospitals, modern medical equipment, and better health facilities because many individuals can afford them and they should visit the regular health check-up in their lives. FOr example, in India, the government always helps needy people and provide better health facilities and medical policy because they can encourage to the community and socities.

To conclude, this is a positive devlopments because it helps people to improve their health and well-being. However, governments and societies always encourage to people because they should visit regular check up and avoid unnecessary fast food and products. I firmly believe that many people should visit their hospitals and doctors because they can provide useful information about health issues and medicines.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the issue, but the development of ideas is inconsistent and often unclear. While you state that you think it is both a positive and negative development, the supporting arguments are fragmented. For instance, the paragraph regarding alternative medicine is difficult to follow, and the example provided about Covid-19 does not clearly link to the argument about why people choose alternative treatments. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your examples directly support your main point. The conclusion is somewhat contradictory, as it labels the trend as positive but then advises people to visit doctors, which makes your overall position slightly ambiguous.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression of ideas is frequently interrupted by unclear phrasing and awkward transitions. For example, the phrase 'I explain it because' is not a standard way to introduce an explanation. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often mechanical or misused, such as 'To commence with' or 'I strongly discuss this arguments'. Referencing is also sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of your argument. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive. You rely on basic terms like 'health problems', 'medicines', and 'treatments' throughout the essay. There are also several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'health problem widely increase' instead of 'the prevalence of health problems is increasing', and 'care of self' instead of 'self-care'. While the meaning is generally understandable, the lack of variety and the frequent errors in word formation prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, try to learn synonyms and common collocations related to health and medical topics.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are frequent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'health problem widely increase'), incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'visit to the health clinic'), and sentence structure (e.g., 'because which may small fewer or illness'). While you attempt some complex sentences, they are often grammatically incorrect, which limits your ability to demonstrate control over a wide range of structures. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and prepositions, before attempting more complex grammatical forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.