Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.
Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Growing the number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and avoid doctor's treatments - I will explain both the positive and negative impact on the society.
Started with negative thoughts of the individuals. Many peoples are trying now to avoid hospitals or clinic treatment - there are several ways so that why they dont want to visit a doctor. The first in my opinion is the high standard cost of the hospitals, plus doctor's fees- second, they dont want to spent more on the health treatment rather then spending more on the daily home use items- third, Food, non-food, Electronic and other daily use items are getting more expensive, they have a specific budget for their monthly spending which also include health treatment.
on the hand, medicine are not much expensive for the light
illness, for example if a person has a light fever, cough
or headache then they can buy a simple medicine for
it to have some relife - But if the pain is severe
than they can visit the doctors which is compulsory -
So in conclusion, nowadays doctor's are charging higher
amount of fees in their clinic or hospital which is not good-
which is the biggest negative point of this-while if we
the government build government hospital where peoples
can do their treatment by paying half or some discount
-
the government
can do their treatment by paying half on discount.
So, in my opinions, government need to focus on his
issues, as it not good to play with someone health or life
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing why people choose alternative medicine, focusing primarily on financial concerns. However, the development is limited. While you mention both positive and negative impacts in the introduction, the body paragraphs do not clearly argue whether this trend is positive or negative; instead, they focus on the cost of healthcare. The position is not consistently maintained throughout the essay. To improve, ensure you clearly state your stance (e.g., 'I believe this is a negative development because...') and provide more balanced, well-developed arguments that directly answer the 'positive or negative' question rather than just describing the situation.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate, such as 'on the hand' (should be 'on the other hand') and 'so that why'. The transition between ideas is often abrupt, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. The conclusion introduces a new idea about government hospitals rather than summarizing the main points of the essay. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'in contrast') and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that supports your overall position.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'good', 'bad', 'things', and 'items'. There are also several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'light illness' (should be 'minor illness'), 'high standard cost' (should be 'high cost'), and 'do their treatment' (should be 'receive treatment'). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas effectively. To reach a higher band, focus on learning topic-specific collocations related to healthcare and economics, and try to use more precise synonyms for common words to demonstrate a broader range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede communication. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('doctor's are charging', 'government need to focus'), incorrect article usage, and fragmented sentences. The sentence structures are mostly simple, with very few attempts at complex sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of apostrophes and hyphens. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Practice writing complex sentences using subordinating conjunctions like 'although', 'because', or 'while' to improve your grammatical range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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