Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Presently, a increasing number of individuals with health issues are using alternative medicine and treatments rather than going to ordinary doctor. This essay agrues that people are facing svere health issues which causes people to use different medicine because people are not recovering from these medicines. In my opinion, it is postive development because people are experiencing different treatments.

In our country, diseases are increasing with the number of people increased as people don't use hygeine product, water and food which causes to health issues. people have severe dangerous disease that cann't be recovered just visiting the ordinary doctors these should require a specific treatment under libortary, make regular checkup and also lives in the hygiene places bacause if they could not care themselves then the treatment worth is equal to zero so every person take care of yourself. For example,if you visit to the usual doctor, he would not dignose with the focus and give the same or slightly changed medicines that could lead to progress.

while the other think it is a negative development because they consider the visiting of usual doctor is beneficial as he already know about the disease but they don't a single disease could also lead to many more diseases as the strength is decreasing day by day the patient requires a specific treatment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count of 250 words, coming in at 220 words, which incurs a penalty under Task Achievement. The essay attempts to address the prompt regarding alternative medicines, stating a position that it is a positive development. However, the ideas are largely underdeveloped, repetitive, and difficult to follow. For instance, the argument shifts confusingly from general disease increases due to hygiene to visiting an ordinary doctor, rather than focusing fully on the implications of alternative treatments. The conclusion and supporting arguments lack depth and clarity, resulting in a partial fulfillment of the task requirements. Consequently, the score reflects limited task progression and under-development.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into three paragraphs, including a very brief introduction and conclusion. However, the logical progression of ideas is frequently disrupted by abrupt transitions and unclear referencing. Phrases like 'while the other think it is a negative development' introduce counter-arguments clumsily without adequate elaboration or clear linking devices. Cohesive devices are used mechanically or inadequately, such as the repetitive use of 'as' and 'because' to string clauses together. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion within sentences is often faulty, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of arguments.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently impeded by significant spelling and word choice errors. Examples such as 'agrues', 'svere', 'postive', 'hygeine', 'cann't', 'libortary', and 'dignose' demonstrate a limited control over lexical spelling and accuracy. The student attempts to use less common vocabulary like 'alternative medicine' and 'specific treatment', but these are undermined by frequent inaccuracies in word form and collocation. The range is minimally adequate for basic communication, but the numerous errors place it firmly in the lower band categories.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The grammatical range is severely limited, consisting mostly of overly long, run-on complex sentences that contain frequent errors. For example, the sentence beginning with 'In our country, diseases are increasing...' is a massive run-on packed with multiple clauses and numerous errors that strain the reader's comprehension. Punctuation is frequently omitted or misused, and subject-verb agreement issues are common, such as 'number of people increased' and 'every person take care of yourself'. While a few simple sentences are accurate, the high frequency of grammatical errors across complex structures impedes smooth understanding.

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