Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.
Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
For public health, few prioritieses are more significnt than promoting healthy practise and encourage people seek professonal medical advice rather than self-treatment .In many developed and developing countries, a substantial amount of money ,effort, and resources is allocated to healthcare systems as they often necessitate the use of various facilities, such as professional doctors,hospitals,and free healthcare campaigns.
Nowadays, many would agree that modern society has nearly transcended its traditional boundaries and will soon become increasingly reliant on self-medication instead of visiting professionals for the benefits of disease prevention.Nevertheless, I firmly believe that promoting self-treatment instead of visiting doctor,especially for some minor illness is a positive developments,it also present certain negative developments that should not be overlooked.
Naturally, self-treatment in the form of illness is considered more essential for prevent disease, creating inexhaustible facilities especially for poor people such as save time,transportation cost,appointment fees and prescription medicine cost, that are not available from other sources.
Moreover, self improvement demonstrates unparalleled benefits for people who suffer through minor illness,such as headache,cold and fever, permeating and enhancing every conceivable sector of society.
Since people seek mental and physical well-being and life expectancy through self-medication rather than getting advice from medical professionals, a greater emphasis on home remedies for self-treatment is imperative to elevate rural areas living standards.If this is adopted by healthcare institutions and professional doctors alike, many general public stand to benefit significantly especially who do not have that much money.Self-medication without consult a doctor, in nations such as China and Japan, for instance, has emerged as a pivotal model for fight with disease ,delivering enhanced services for their community.
On other hand,promoting self-treatment without getting advice from professionals may also create several challenges for public health.Under certain circumstances, people may shy away from try to get better at home without visiting doctor due to a range of challenges, such as mental and physical health crises, choronic disease, adverse effects on health,knowledge limitations, fear of spreading health disease,nutretional defficiencies , and lack of family support.While self-treatment in impoverished and developing nations frequently contend with some major illness, such as sedentary lifestyle,obesity, and pre-mature mortality when striving to implement this approach.Therefore, the notion of self-medication is not always practical.From health, social, and national perspectives, if the goals of people dictate that a quality of life is not merely an option but an imperative, they may choose to embrace self treatment.
Of course, self-treatment is become a growing trend now for public-health concern.Moreover,people should get advice from specialized doctors,because sometime if we unaware about our health we might face some choronical diseases.For example,today’s youth eat too much fastfood,which contain a lot of calories and sugar.So,undoubtly they struggle with obesity because the d not aware about it first.If they getting advice from medical doctor it would help them to reduce obesity.
However, it is the responsibility of healthcare institutions and professional doctors to evaluate the role of self treatment and determine whether it will do more harm than good.Thus,it is evident that fostering an interest in try to get better at home without visiting doctors for minor illness is beneficial for general people’s health.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the positive and negative developments of choosing alternative treatments or self-medication over visiting a doctor. The writer presents a clear position in the introduction, stating that while promoting self-treatment has benefits, it also presents negative developments. Ideas are extended throughout the body paragraphs, touching upon economic advantages such as saving time and transportation costs, as well as the risks of missing underlying chronic conditions like obesity. However, some arguments tend to conflate general 'alternative treatments' with 'self-medication' and 'home remedies,' leading to slight confusion in focus. Nevertheless, the main parts of the task are addressed adequately, placing this performance solidly within the Band 6 descriptor range where relevant ideas are presented, though some sections feel slightly under-developed or repetitive.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing, separating the introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion. However, cohesion is frequently faulty and mechanical. There are noticeable issues with referencing, such as dangling modifiers and abrupt transitions (e.g., 'Naturally, self-treatment in the form of illness...'). Paragraphs occasionally lack smooth internal progression, and cohesive devices are sometimes misused or overused, such as repetitive usage of conjunctive adverbs like 'Moreover' and 'Therefore' without strong logical ties to the preceding sentences. Despite these flaws, the essay remains generally readable and follows a clear structural template, satisfying the core requirements of Band 6.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The writer attempts less common vocabulary, such as 'inexhaustible facilities,' 'transcended its traditional boundaries,' and 'pivotal model.' However, these attempts are often inaccurate or unnatural in collocation and word choice, which impedes clarity. For instance, phrases like 'prioritieses are more significnt,' 'healthy practise,' and 'fighting with disease' contain spelling mistakes and non-standard collocations. There are also recurrent errors in word forms (e.g., 'consult a doctor' instead of 'consulting a doctor,' 'nutretional defficiencies,' 'choronic disease'). While the vocabulary used is adequate to convey the basic message, the frequency of lexical errors and awkward phrasing prevents the response from achieving a higher band, aligning well with the Band 5 descriptor.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some ambition in sentence structures (e.g., conditional clauses like 'If this is adopted by healthcare institutions...'). However, the response is heavily impacted by frequent grammatical errors and punctuation issues. Examples include subject-verb agreement errors ('many general public stand,' 'self-treatment is become'), incorrect verb forms ('encourage people seek,' 'try to get better'), missing articles, and awkward phrasing that sometimes obscures meaning. Although the communication is not entirely broken down and the reader can generally follow the argument, the high frequency of grammatical slips across most sentences places this response firmly at Band 5.
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