Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often observed that majority of the people with health issues nowadays are attracted towards alternative medicines and treatments at home instead of going to doctors for regular checkup. While there are valid arguments on both sides of this issue, I believe that people should not adopt this practice.

One of the primary reasons for this is that the large number of population is not educated enough to treat their illnesses on their own. They self medicate themselves and take medicines without knowing their mechanism of action and result in any adverse reaction that can be fatal. A layman is unaware of possible drug-drug interactions and when they take a large of medicines together to treat their disease, they often end up with severe allergic reaction. At the end, such patients visit their doctors to get themselves treated of that reaction.

A good example of this is a patient who developed acne on her face in her early 20s. Instead of going to the doctor and get the proper treatment, she decided to treat herself by watching random videos on the social media. She applied random creams and lotions on her face without reading their ingredient lists. Consequently, she suffered with more acne that resulted into deep scars on her face. Now she is visiting the dermatologist and paying hefty amount for aesthetic procedures.

In conclusion, although the people follow this practice to save their money and time, I believe that this practice should be discouraged because it can lead to detrimental side effects to the patients which are not always curable,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by presenting a clear position that relying on alternative home treatments rather than consulting a doctor is a negative development. The overall stance is maintained throughout the essay. However, while the main body paragraphs present relevant ideas, some aspects are under-developed. For instance, the discussion on the broad societal impact of self-medication remains relatively surface-level before pivoting into a personal example. To reach a higher level, the ideas need more thorough extension and broader supporting arguments rather than relying solely on a single extended personal anecdote about acne.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a concluding summary. Information and ideas are logically sequenced, guiding the reader through the writer's argument. However, cohesion sometimes feels mechanical or slightly repetitive, particularly in the use of basic transition phrases like "One of the primary reasons for this is that" and "A good example of this is." Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct points, but referencing and pronoun use could be smoother to ensure a more seamless flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used provides an adequate range for the task, allowing the writer to communicate their main points effectively. There are successful attempts at less common vocabulary, such as "mechanism of action," "detrimental side effects," and "aesthetic procedures." However, lexical resource is held back by noticeable errors in word choice and phrasing, such as "the large number of population" instead of "a large proportion of the population," "self medicate themselves" which is redundant, and "paying hefty amount" missing a plural or article. These minor slips in collocation and precision prevent the writing from achieving a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating a reasonable attempt at syntactic variety. There are several instances of successful complex structures, such as concessive clauses in the introduction. However, the text contains several errors in grammar and punctuation. Examples include "majority of the people" missing an article, "result in any adverse reaction" lacking proper agreement with the subject, and a punctuation error at the very end of the essay where a comma is used instead of a full stop. These errors do not impede communication, but they occur frequently enough to prevent the grammar score from advancing.

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