Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.
Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In the essay i discussed about the health problem in the people and growing the number of the people of the health problem. The doctor try to make the medicines alternative of the health problem. the doctor try the medicines instead of visiting their usual doctor. The people use the aternative medicines and treatment instead of visiting usual doctor i think it's a negative developments.
On the one hand i discuss it's a negative development because it's very cretical issue use any medicines without the permission of usual doctor because the bad medicines affected to the people. Nowsdays most of the people growing with the health problems and the community donot want to discuss our usual doctor. Most of the people try to use the allternative medicines and treatment if use medicines without the rule of the doctor so we include many other health problems. If the people use alternative medicines so growing the percentage of the people with health problems. Nowadays most of the peole use medicines inour own ways and the medicines affects to the health of the peole.
On the second hand the people use the medicines with the rules of the doctor the health of the people improved. If any problem make firstly to visiting theirusual doctor. The doctor recmend the medicines follow the instruction of the doctor after day by day improved your health.
In the conclusion growing the number of people in the health problem that use the alternative medicines of the problems and donot checkup from the doctor. It's a very dangerous issue about the health of the peole. In every problem of the health to go to the doctor and take medicine.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response addresses the prompt minimally, attempting to express a clear position that relying on alternative treatments is a negative development. However, the ideas are heavily repetitive and under-developed. Instead of fully extending arguments with relevant examples or explanations, the writing continuously restates the same basic premise that taking medicines without a doctor causes health problems. For instance, in the second paragraph, phrases like 'the bad medicines affected to the people' and 'growing the percentage of the people with health problems' are reiterated without adding substantive support or clear examples from personal knowledge or experience, keeping the development restricted to a basic level.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
There is some basic organisation evident through the use of standard discourse markers such as 'On the one hand', 'On the second hand', and 'In the conclusion'. However, these fail to establish a clear overall progression of thought because the content within paragraphs circles back to previous points rather than advancing logically. Furthermore, cohesive devices are frequently inaccurate or repetitive. Referencing is also unclear at times, particularly with pronouns like 'it' or 'they' lacking clear antecedents, which disrupts the flow of the text. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion remains weak and mechanical throughout the essay.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms such as 'people', 'health problems', 'medicines', and 'doctor' across all paragraphs. There are noticeable lexical errors and inappropriate word choices, such as 'cretical' instead of critical, 'allternative' instead of alternative, and awkward collocations like 'use medicines without the rule of the doctor'. These lexical inadequacies and frequent spelling errors cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect a restricted range of vocabulary that struggles to convey precise meanings.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent attempts at complex sentences that are heavily flawed. There are frequent errors in verb forms, tenses, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions, such as 'the medicines affects to the health of the peole' and 'donot checkup from the doctor'. Punctuation is also problematic, with run-on structures and missing periods causing sentences to merge incorrectly. These frequent errors persist throughout the text and cause considerable difficulty for the reader in parsing the intended meaning.
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