Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In today's world, health problems are common in people because of trying to alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. I beleive this is a negative development to trying alternative medicines and treatments. This essay will discuss how this is a negative development.

People become doctor themselve and trying random medicine and do random treatments. This actions lead them to severe deseases. For instance, when someone take daily medicine of blood shoot without any concern of doctors, while they have normal BP. Then, On a random day person's BP automatically shoot by a small mistake of taking alternative medicines which cause of brain hemorrhage. As a result, person may face the risk of death which was very difficult for the person's family.

When someone goes through a lower back injury their relatives becomes a doctor and gave them advices. On the other hand, some people try to treatment of their lower back. For example, they do yoga and other alternative excercise which is the cause of backbone desease. The alternative treatments done by us randomly instead of visiting their usual doctor can lead to us such harmful disease. As a result, person could not able to stand by his own because of wrong treatment.

In conclusion, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor is a negative development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

Your position is clear: you consider relying on alternative treatments instead of a usual doctor to be negative, and both body paragraphs give related examples involving blood pressure and a back injury. However, the ideas are only briefly explained, and some claims—such as alternative exercise causing “backbone disease”—need clearer reasoning or more credible support. The introduction also repeats the task rather than establishing a fuller argument, while the conclusion simply restates your view. The response is 203 words, below the required 250; 30 words copied from the prompt were not counted. Develop each main point with a clearer explanation of the risks and a relevant example to address the task more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The paragraphs also focus on separate examples, which helps the reader follow the main topics. However, progression within the paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the blood-pressure example moves from taking medicine to a sudden rise in pressure and brain haemorrhage without explaining the connection. Linking phrases such as “On the other hand” do not show a clear contrast in the back-injury paragraph, and “As a result” is repeated. Some references, including “This actions” and “they,” are difficult to follow. Use more precise links between cause and consequence, and make each paragraph develop one clearly connected line of reasoning.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “alternative medicines,” “treatments,” “blood pressure,” and “brain hemorrhage,” so the reader can identify the subject and your main concerns. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated, particularly “alternative medicines and treatments” and “negative development.” Word choice and spelling errors sometimes make the meaning harder to understand, as in “blood shoot,” “deseases,” and “backbone desease.” Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “people become doctor themselves” and “do yoga ... which is the cause of.” Build a more accurate range for discussing medical risks and use natural collocations; check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with reasons or examples, such as the sentence beginning “For instance, when someone take daily medicine.” This shows an effort to explain consequences, but the range is limited and errors are frequent enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include “People become doctor themselve and trying,” “their relatives becomes,” and “person could not able to stand,” which show problems with agreement, verb forms and sentence construction. Articles and plurals are also often missing, as in “visiting their usual doctor” when referring to people generally and “such harmful disease.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them using controlled clauses.

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