Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In my opinion a growing number of peoples with health problems is the main cause the fast food and not going to morning walk.The peoples are not doing the exercise.When people eat food they are sleep on the bed and using the mobile phones.In the past our forefathers was very fit because they get up early in the morning and doing the exercise.They were eat home food like butter and drink lassi.Therefore they were very fit and healthy persons.In these days people doing other work. They did not get up early in the morning.The main cause is this the patient are very fully in the hospital.It is the neagtive development in these century.The large number of persons are depend on the medicine.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You state a negative view in “It is the neagtive development,” so the reader can identify your position. However, most of the response discusses causes of health problems—fast food, lack of exercise, and past lifestyles—rather than whether choosing alternative treatments instead of a usual doctor is positive or negative. You do not explain what alternative medicines or treatments people use, compare them with medical care, or give a relevant example supporting your judgement. The ideas that people rely on medicine and that hospitals are busy are mentioned but not explained. The response is also 128 words below the required minimum, leaving too little space to address and develop the task. Focus directly on the choice of treatment and support your position with reasons and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

The response has a basic sequence: it begins with lifestyle causes, contrasts people today with forefathers, and ends by stating that the development is negative. Simple linking words such as “In the past,” “Therefore,” and “In these days” help signal some relationships. However, the ideas do not progress clearly towards an answer about alternative treatment, and several statements appear beside one another without explaining their connection. For example, the claim that patients are “very fully in the hospital” is not linked clearly to the final point about dependence on medicine. The response is presented as one block, with no paragraphing to separate the position, reasons, and conclusion. Organise it into clear paragraphs and use links that show how each reason supports your view.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a small set of relevant health and lifestyle words, including “exercise,” “fast food,” “hospital,” and “medicine,” and the general topic is usually understandable. There are also attempts to express comparison and cause, such as “In the past” and “The main cause.” However, vocabulary is repetitive and often too imprecise for the task: “other work” does not explain what people do instead of exercising, and “fully in the hospital” does not communicate a clear meaning. Spelling errors such as “neagtive” also reduce accuracy. Build a more specific range for discussing treatment choices, for example “alternative remedies,” “medical advice,” “side effects,” and “evidence-based treatment,” and check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You mainly use short, simple statements, and some basic sentence patterns communicate individual points. There is an attempt at a longer causal sentence in “When people eat food they are sleep on the bed and using the mobile phones,” but the verb forms and structure are not controlled. Errors recur in agreement and tense, as in “a growing number of peoples … is” and “our forefathers was”; verb forms are also inaccurate in “they get up … and doing” and “They were eat.” Articles and sentence boundaries are inconsistent, and several clauses run together without punctuation. These problems sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled clauses with “because” or “although,” checking subject–verb agreement and consistent verb forms.

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