Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

According to the statement, a increasing number of individuals with health issu are trying alternative medicines and treatment instead of visiting their normal doctor.

From my experience and knowledge, this is positive statement.This is the right statement.The two reasons and answer explain in two paragraphs.

First reason is, a boos number of people using bad medicine and then made health problems.Many citizens and young people who save money and using alternative medicine.Some parents illness he save money for children and then go to the normal store in market.And then after two weeks he made health problems.I saw many incidents he made health problems because he used alternative medicine.For instance, my friend lived in my hometown.One day he illness.His father went to the bad store and checkup the son.So, the doctor given the normal and alternative medicine.After two weeks, my friend died.

Second reason is, some citizens and individuals he bacme illness.He went to the normal and bad doctor for treatment.So, the major reason is many people health problems.I saw crucial peoples he made health problems.Because he used alternative medicine and treatment for usual doctor.Therefore, i recomand to the people he went to the better and good doctor for treatment.Furthermore, many people poor.He could not affoard the treatment for good doctor.But many rich people he gave monney poor people for treatment.So, poor people should treatment for better doctor.

In conclusion, many people health problems are using bad medicine.So, people should better using medicine.From the other hand, some people health problems instead of visting their usual doctor.So, i would recomend to the people using good medicine and treatment for special doctor.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear overall preference by calling the development positive and recommending that people seek a “better and good doctor.” However, the response does not explain convincingly why choosing alternative treatment instead of a usual doctor is positive. Much of the discussion describes people becoming ill after using “bad medicine,” which supports the opposite view, and the account of your friend is difficult to interpret because it says both that a doctor provided medicine and that the friend later died. The second reason also shifts between alternative treatment, poverty, and help from rich people without showing how these points answer the question. Develop one consistent position and support each reason with a clear, relevant explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, so there is an attempt to organise the answer by reasons. Basic signposting such as “First reason,” “Second reason,” and “In conclusion” helps readers recognise these sections. However, progression within the paragraphs is difficult to follow: the first moves from saving money to a store, a doctor, and your friend’s death, while the second combines illness, alternative treatment, and financial assistance without clear links. Several ideas are repeated, including that people have health problems and should use good medicine. Use topic sentences that state one main point, then explain it in a logical sequence; make pronouns and references clear, and use linking phrases to show how each example supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is basic and often repetitive, relying on words such as “people,” “health problems,” “medicine,” and “good.” Some phrases make the intended meaning hard to understand, including “a boos number,” “bad store,” and “crucial peoples.” There are also spelling and word-form problems, such as “recomand,” “affoard,” and “visting.” These errors sometimes strain the reader’s effort to interpret your ideas. You do use relevant topic vocabulary, including “alternative medicine,” “treatment,” and “doctor,” which gives you a starting point. Build a more precise set of expressions for discussing medical care and access, and check spelling and collocations. Prefer specific terms such as “unqualified practitioner” or “medical treatment” where they accurately express your meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

Most sentences use a very simple subject–verb pattern, and attempts to connect ideas often produce incomplete or unclear structures. For example, “Some parents illness he save money for children” lacks a clear grammatical relationship between its parts, while “Because he used alternative medicine and treatment for usual doctor” is a fragment. Agreement and verb forms are also frequently inaccurate, as in “many people health problems are using” and “the doctor given.” Articles, pronouns, and sentence punctuation are inconsistent as well. These problems can distort meaning, as in the account of your friend. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled clauses using “because,” “although,” and “so that.” Check each sentence for a clear subject, correctly formed verb, and complete thought.

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