Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Today, in this world the number of sick humans are very high also the majority of individuals facing some different kinds of issues related to health. Unfortunately, in this era people medicine according to their own will but they do not like to go any hospital while, this is entirly bad development.

Firstly, right now the ratio of patients in medical centers are too decreased while, the reason is that recently, in our society huge amount of locals prefer to use artifical intelligence for the treatment of deseases like headache or fever. However, this is very wrong thing and in this globe has no comparision of doctors because every Mbbs doctor has a degree so, these doctors are able recommend some medicines. For instance, in 2010 the government of UK introduced a specific rule like in case if a person is too much sick then he need to consult with a good doctor but if he does not consult with a doctor then he have to pay fine.

Secondly, those individuals do not like to spend money on their treatment or medicine so, these type of people use home made method on their self. Morewise, sometime these method are become more dangerous for patient health because normal humans have no knowledge about their internal organs. Whatever, if any condition if a pregnant women eat wrong medicine then the life of mother of baby will be in the mode of danger. For example, in Janap 1999 most of people were died becuase the use of wrong medicine.

In conclusion, the government of each country has a lot of responsibilities like hospitality facilities, eductional or safety issues so, government need to focus on the health of every residents while, they need to build large amount of hospitals those are totally free for patients. Furthermore, humans require to focus on their health problems also they need to makesure, the selection of good doctor then all people are able to live a happy life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you consider people choosing alternative treatment instead of seeing a doctor to be a negative development. You give relevant reasons, including the risk of using unsuitable remedies and the danger to a pregnant woman and baby, and you include examples. However, the response only partly addresses the specific issue because it shifts at points to AI use, hospital attendance, and government responsibilities without explaining how these relate to alternative medicines. The UK fine and the 1999 example are also asserted rather than clearly explained or supported. To strengthen the response, focus each body paragraph on a distinct consequence of avoiding qualified medical care, and develop each with a credible, clearly connected example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs beginning “Firstly” and “Secondly,” and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify your main position and supporting points. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the first moves from patient numbers to AI, doctors’ qualifications, and a government rule, while the links between these points are not always clear. Connectors such as “However,” “Whatever,” and repeated “so” are sometimes used inaccurately or mechanically, which can interrupt the argument. Some references, such as “these method,” are also unclear. Organise each paragraph around one main reason, then explain its consequence and example in sequence, using linking phrases only where the relationship is precise.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary related to health and treatment, including “medical centers,” “internal organs,” “pregnant women,” and “medicine.” However, the range is basic and repetitive, and frequent spelling and word-choice errors sometimes strain understanding. Examples include “artifical,” “deseases,” “Morewise,” and “hospitality facilities”; the last does not express the intended idea of healthcare provision. Phrases such as “sick humans” and “wrong thing” are also imprecise for an academic argument. Build a more accurate set of topic-specific expressions and check spelling and collocations. For example, use “people with health problems,” “alternative treatments,” and “seek medical advice” to express your ideas more naturally and precisely.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, but control is inconsistent, and errors are frequent enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For example, “the number of sick humans are very high” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “these doctors are able recommend” is missing “to.” Verb forms and sentence construction are also faulty in “these method are become more dangerous” and “they need to makesure.” Several sentences join multiple ideas with commas and “while” or “so,” making the relationships unclear. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses. Check agreement, articles, verb forms, and punctuation when editing, especially in longer sentences.

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