Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

NOwadays,a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their useful doctor.While this trend offer some benefits in terms of holistic wellness and reduced pressure on public healthcare,I believe that statement a negative development due to the significant risks with undergraduated treatements and delayed diagnoses.

Firstly,the shift towars alternative medicane can be seen in a positive light for cretain monor ailments.many traditional therapies such as yoga or herbal remedies,fcous on holistic weel-being and treating the root cause of lifestyle-related.For example someone believe and that treatment better than visiting doctor they can medication and better lives.Alternative treatment useful and competion others treatment.

Secondly,alternative treatement also effective for human lives.because ther are can't avialible ideas.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a position in the introduction: although alternative treatments may offer benefits, you consider the trend negative because of risks and delayed diagnoses. You also mention yoga and herbal remedies as examples. However, the response addresses the question only minimally: the claimed risks are not explained, and the second body paragraph (“also effective for human lives”) does not develop a clear reason or example. The response contains 103 words, below the required 250; 19 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. This leaves the argument substantially incomplete. To strengthen the response, explain how relying on unproven treatments could delay diagnosis or cause harm, and support each main point with a specific, relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response with an introduction and two body paragraphs, and “Firstly” and “Secondly” signal a sequence. However, the ideas do not progress coherently: the second paragraph introduces effectiveness but does not explain what is effective or connect it clearly to your negative overall position. Several sentences are difficult to follow, particularly “For example someone believe and that treatment better than visiting doctor they can medication and better lives.” The final sentence also ends without a developed point. Use one clear main idea per paragraph, connect each example to that idea, and make the relationship between the benefits you acknowledge and your negative conclusion explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “holistic well-being,” “herbal remedies,” “root cause,” and “delayed diagnoses,” which shows an effort to discuss health treatments rather than relying only on general words. However, the range is limited and many spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response hard to understand, such as “undergraduated treatements,” “monor ailments,” and “Alternative treatment useful and competion others treatment.” Some phrases are also imprecise, including “better lives” and “effective for human lives.” Build a reliable set of accurate health-related terms and check spelling and collocations. More precise wording would help readers understand the risks and benefits you intend to describe.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a complex contrast in the opening sentence with “While …, I believe …,” and uses a few simple sentence forms. However, grammatical control is weak and errors frequently obscure meaning. For example, “this trend offer” has incorrect subject–verb agreement, while “many traditional therapies … focus” begins without appropriate sentence capitalisation. The example sentence beginning “For example someone believe” lacks a clear grammatical structure, and “because ther are can't avialible ideas” is not a complete, understandable clause. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, with missing spaces after full stops. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check agreement, articles, and punctuation.

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