Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Recently, significant number of people have started practicing their own medical treatments rather than paying visits to specialist doctors. This is a negative development toward health and can lead to severe results. In this essay, I will discuss the main issues of these practices, thier causes and potential solutions.

Initially, the technology has been advanced so much and in the era to artificial intelligence (AI) people just type their symptoms on multiple platforms such as chatgpt, claude and gemini and get prescriptions. For example, if someone has fever they will search suggested medicines and treatments and get the one which is easy to avail and practice. This results in declined number of visits to clinics and hospitals. Additionally, the healthcare nowadays have become very expensive. Doctors charge a lot for single appointment also the tests (for medical history) and medicines are cost patients additional. As a result, people find it convient to buy cheap and same formula pills and syrups from pharmaceuticals.

One practical solution to these problems is raising awareness among people regarding their health. There should be proper initiatives and guidelines at government levels to educate people about normalizing visits to medical specialists rather than home and self practising. Furthermore, crackdown against heathcare and pharmaceutical mafia to reduce check-up fees, tests cost, medicine prices also needs consideration. Moreover, pharamcies should be banned for providing consultancy and alternative cheap formula medicines. Lastly, the alogorithms of internet web search engines and Ai platforms needs to modified or altered in a way that they not only refuse to provide information related to health problems but also suggest visits to respective doctor.

In conclusion, although with the advancements in internet and expensive medical treatments, the self prescriptions and talking alternative medicines have been normalized so much, but it can be reduced by governments, healthcare and pharmaceutics, self awareness and right use of technology.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the opening: relying on self-treatment instead of doctors is a negative development. You address causes, consequences and possible responses, including online symptom searches, healthcare costs, public education and regulation. These points are relevant, and the examples of people searching for fever remedies and buying cheaper medicines help illustrate your argument. However, the discussion of the harms to patients is less developed than the causes and proposed solutions: explain, for instance, how an incorrect diagnosis or unsuitable medicine could delay effective treatment. Some recommendations, such as banning pharmacies from providing consultancy, also need qualification or explanation. The response therefore covers the task, but its support is uneven; fuller explanation of the central health risks would make the argument more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph on causes, a paragraph of solutions and a conclusion. The progression from the problem to responses is generally easy to follow, and signposts such as “Additionally,” “As a result” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. At times, however, the linking feels mechanical, particularly with the repeated sequence of “Furthermore,” “Moreover” and “Lastly.” The solutions paragraph also contains several distinct proposals in one long chain, so grouping related measures and explaining their connections would improve flow. In the conclusion, the list of responsible parties is not fully clear. More precise referencing and a wider variety of transitions would make the organisation smoother and more cohesive.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “alternative medicines,” “prescriptions,” “medical specialists” and “awareness,” and you attempt more formal expressions such as “initiatives and guidelines.” However, noticeable spelling, word-form and collocation errors reduce precision: “thier,” “convient,” “pharamcies” and “alogorithms” are examples, while “declined number of visits” and “medicines are cost patients additional” are not natural formulations. Some wording is also vague, such as “same formula pills” and “right use of technology.” These choices do not prevent the reader from understanding the main argument, but they limit fluency and can cause momentary difficulty. Proofread spelling and build a more reliable range of health-related collocations to express ideas accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including conditional phrasing (“if someone has fever they will search…”) and a relative clause (“medicines… which is easy to avail and practice”). The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but errors in agreement, articles and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “the healthcare nowadays have become” has a subject–verb agreement problem, and “the algorithms… needs to modified” contains errors in agreement and verb form. The opening also needs an article in “a significant number,” while “people find it convenient to buy…” would require a clearer grammatical construction around the medicines. Work on accurate verb forms, agreement and articles, and check that longer sentences have complete, well-connected clauses.

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