Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Todays, vast amount of individuals with health issues are trying different medicines and treatments rather than going to their usual doctor. I beleive it is a negative development, because health is the most important thing in life and playing with this is not a better thing.

In many countries, individuals are trying to save their money, because everything is very expensive in many countries and not everyone allow to afford hospital bills, which are more than the annual salary of average person. For instance, in last ten years, students have to pay enormous amount of money to become a doctor from a good university and due to this quantity of doctors decreased day by day and illness increases everyday, so they charge more money to get an appointment with a good doctor, because they have so many patients to treat, and this is the main reason for individuals using alternative medicines and treatments.

Furthermore, average salary of a worker in many countries are way lesser, and they find it very difficult to life a happy life and recent years, medical treatments increasing in value by a lot. For instance, treatment of cancer in USA is about 78,000 dollars if they choose best hospital with good doctors, and average salary of one USA employee is less than 25,000 dollar in a year, so they even choose different treatments, which is cheap but very unhealthy for their health or they have to die with the disease, and medicine companies make the medicine, which are way expensive to afford for a normal person, and thats why he try to use cheap medicines.

In conclusion, using an alternative medicines and treatments rather than visiting an actual doctors is very negative development, but invidividuals have no choice on that. I beleive governemt have to work on this and manage the fee of doctors and try to build government pharmacy for cheap medicines.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider the trend negative, and the conclusion repeats this view while suggesting government action. You also give relevant reasons, especially the high cost of medical care and the difficulty of affording treatment, supported by examples about cancer care and doctors’ fees. This addresses the task, but the discussion focuses mainly on cost rather than explaining in detail why alternative treatments can be medically harmful or why consulting a usual doctor is safer. Some claims, such as the link between the cost of medical education and a decline in doctors, are not fully explained. Develop that reasoning and connect each example more directly to the risks of replacing professional care.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs beginning with “In many countries” and “Furthermore,” and a conclusion. The ideas generally progress from the cost of doctors to the affordability of treatment, and examples help illustrate the points. However, the two body paragraphs overlap considerably, as both focus on financial barriers, so the argument does not develop as distinctly as it could. Some sentences contain several linked claims, making relationships between ideas harder to follow; the long sentence about medical education, doctor numbers and appointment costs is one example. Use clearer topic sentences, separate cause-and-effect steps, and vary linking expressions so cohesion feels less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main argument, including “alternative medicines,” “hospital bills,” “medical treatments,” and “appointment.” There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “annual salary” and “government pharmacy.” However, the range is limited and several word choices, forms, or spellings are inaccurate or unnatural, including “Todays,” “beleive,” “quantity of doctors,” “life a happy life,” and “invidividuals.” Repetition of “expensive,” “individuals,” and “treatments” also limits precision. Build a wider set of accurate collocations for healthcare costs and medical risks, and check spelling and word forms carefully so the reader can follow your meaning without hesitation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, using clauses with “because,” “which,” and “so,” and the overall meaning is usually understandable. However, complex sentences are often difficult to control, particularly the extended sentence beginning “For instance, in last ten years,” which joins several ideas without clear grammatical boundaries. There are also errors in agreement and sentence structure, such as “average salary … are” and “not everyone allow to afford,” as well as problems with articles and plurals in “an alternative medicines” and “an actual doctors.” These errors sometimes make the reader pause. Practise building shorter, accurate sentences first, then combine related ideas while checking agreement, articles, and punctuation.

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