Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

IN THE MODERN ERA, HEALTH PLAYS A PIVOTAL ROLE IN HUMAN BEINGS LIFE . NOWADAYS HEALTH ISSUES RISE ALL OVER THE GLOBE . IT IS OFTEN ARGUED THAT A GROWING NUMBER OF PEOPLE WITH HEALTH PROBLEMS ARE TRYING ALTERNATIVE MEDICINES AND TREATMENTS INSTEAD OF VISITING THEIR DOCTORS.IT IS A NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT BECAUSE LACK OF SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE. THE MAIN POINTS WILL BE DISCUSSED IN THE UPCOMING PARAGRAPHS AND LOGICAL CONCLUSION AT THE END

TO COMMENCE WITH, THE FIRST AND FOREMOST REASON IS THAT DUE TO LACK OF SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE. MANY INDIVIDUALS ARE PREFER TO USED UNNATURAL PRODUCTS FOR THEIR BODY PURPOSES WITHOUT ANY RESEARCH . HENCE, MOST OF PEOPLE CONSUMED THESE PRODUCTS IN THEIR DAILY ROUTINE. AS A RESULT, THESE GOODS HARM THE HUMAN BODY AND CAUSES MANY DISEASES. MOREOVER, ANOTHER SIGNIFICANT REASON IS THAT DUE TO RISE OF TECHNOLOGY. MANY INDIVIDUALS ARE OPENED BODY PRODUCTS IN ONLINE WEBSITES. HENCE MANY ACTRESS OR ACTORS

GIVE A LOT OF INFORMATION ABOUT THESE PRODUCTS . BUT THEY DO NOT SELL RIGHT PRODUCTS . AS A RESULT, IT IS NOT BENEFICIAL FOR EVERYONE.

IN CONTRAST, THERE ARE MANY POSITIVE POINTS . THE FIRST REASON IS THAT THESE PRODUCTS ARE AFFORDABLE AND EASILY AVAILABLE IN EVERY SHOPS OR WEBSITES.IN ADDITION, THE SECOND REASON IS THAT THESE PRODUCTS ARE CONVENIENT FOR EVERYONE . THE LAST REASON IS THAT HIGH BRANDED MEDICINES ARE MADE UP OF NATURAL PRODUCTS . HENCE IT IS ESSENTIAL FOR HUMAN BEINGS.

IN CONCLUSION, I HAVE DISCUSSED THE MAIN POINTS IN THE ABOVE PARAGRAPHS WITH MY PERSONAL IDEAS. THESE PRODUCTS HARM THE PEOPLE DUE TO LACK OF SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH . HOWEVER , THESE ONLINE PRODUCTS ARE EASILY AFFORDABLE.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

Your position is identifiable: you call the trend negative and give reasons related to lack of scientific evidence and misleading online promotion. These points are relevant, but they are only briefly explained, and some claims—such as products causing diseases—need a clear explanation or a specific example. The paragraph beginning “IN CONTRAST” introduces advantages, but these are listed rather than weighed against your position, and the claim that branded medicines are made from natural products is unclear. The conclusion repeats your view without drawing the discussion together. To strengthen the response, explain how relying on unverified treatments could delay effective care, support this with an example, and clarify why the disadvantages outweigh the benefits. (18 words copied from the task prompt were not counted.)

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a recognisable essay structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs presenting disadvantages and advantages, and a conclusion. This gives the reader a basic route through your ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is often mechanical: repeated links such as “Hence,” “As a result,” and “Moreover” connect statements without always showing a precise relationship. Some references are unclear, particularly “these products” and “these goods,” because the products are not defined consistently. The shift to “IN CONTRAST” also introduces positive points without explaining how they relate to your overall negative position. Use fewer formulaic connectors, group each reason with its explanation, and make references explicit to improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “alternative medicines,” “scientific evidence,” “affordable,” and “convenient,” so the reader can follow the general subject. However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the intended meaning difficult to identify. For example, “unnatural products for their body purposes” and “opened body products in online websites” do not clearly describe the treatments or how people obtain them. “High branded medicines” is also an imprecise expression. Aim for accurate collocations and specific terms, such as “unverified remedies,” “buy supplements from online retailers,” and “well-known pharmaceutical medicines.” Check word forms and spelling, and avoid repeating “products” when a more precise noun is available.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt some connected and complex sentences, using structures such as “because” and “as a result,” and the overall meaning is sometimes recoverable. However, grammatical errors are frequent, and the sentence patterns are mostly simple or faulty attempts at longer forms. Examples include “Many individuals are prefer to used,” “most of people consumed,” and “these goods harm the human body and causes,” which show problems with verb forms, articles, and subject–verb agreement. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “visiting their doctors.IT is a negative development.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with subordinate clauses. Review agreement, infinitives after “prefer,” and punctuation between sentences.

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