Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.
Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Nowadays, an increasing number of people with health issue are choosing alternative treatment rather then seeking hel from their regular doctors. Although this method of treatment may offer some benefits. From my perspective, this is negative development because they can delay proper medcial care and put people health at risk.
To begin with, there are several resons why individuals prefer althernative medicine. Firstly, some people belive natural remedies such as homeopathic tretment and acupuncture have fewer sdie effect than modern medicine. Secondly, alternative therapies help them to reduce stress and depression. For example, body message can relive muscle tension and improves people sense of well being. Moreover, patients turn these treatment they disspointed the resutl from conventional medicine. Likewise, many people with low income salary recommed natural treatment because they can not afford they can not afford the expensive of hospital and doctors.
However, relaying on alternative medicine instead of visiting a doctor can have serious consequences. Many health condiditon such as lungs infection, brain tumor and heart disease require professional diagnose and proper medince. If patients use unproven remidices, there health may become even worse becuause they do not timely treatment. For example, a person with serious cancermay relies on natural treatment may experience dangerious impact because docots have year experience do deal with these prblems and hosptial have advance medical equipment to detect this.
In conclusion, although, alternative therapies may help reduce stress and proivde temporary relief from certain symptoms. But i belive that this is a negative step becuase people should prioities scientifically proven treatment.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider the trend negative because it may delay appropriate care and endanger health. You address both sides by noting possible benefits, such as stress relief, and explaining the risks of relying on unproven remedies for serious conditions. The examples of cancer and heart disease are relevant, and the conclusion returns to your view. This meets the task well, though some points are less fully developed than others. In particular, the affordability point is difficult to follow, and the benefits paragraph lists reasons without explaining how they compare with the risks. To strengthen the response, clarify that point and extend one or two examples with a more precise explanation of their consequences.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph explaining why people choose alternative treatments, a paragraph outlining risks, and a conclusion. Sequencing expressions such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “However,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the main progression. The contrast between perceived benefits and medical risks is also appropriate. However, some connections are mechanical, and a few sentences do not link ideas clearly. For example, “Moreover, patients turn these treatment they disspointed…” is hard to connect to the preceding point, while the affordability sentence repeats itself and obscures the argument. Use cohesive devices more selectively, and make each sentence’s relationship to the paragraph’s main idea explicit. Clearer referencing would also help readers track which treatments or patients you mean.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “alternative medicine,” “natural remedies,” “conventional medicine,” “professional diagnosis,” and “medical equipment.” This gives you enough language to discuss the issue, and some choices are appropriate to an academic essay. However, spelling errors and inaccurate word forms are noticeable throughout, including “medcial,” “althernative,” “remidices,” and “condiditon.” Several phrases are also unnatural or unclear, such as “low income salary,” “the expensive of hospital,” and “dangerious impact.” These errors sometimes make the reader work to understand your meaning, which limits the precision of your vocabulary. Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common collocations, especially for healthcare costs, treatment, and medical outcomes.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a conditional sentence beginning “If patients use…” and a relative clause in “health conditions such as… require…”. These attempts show some range, but control is inconsistent, and errors can make parts of the argument difficult to understand. For example, “Although this method of treatment may offer some benefits” is an incomplete sentence, and “body message can relive muscle tension and improves…” has faulty verb agreement and coordination. The sentence about a person with cancer also lacks a clear grammatical structure. Review sentence boundaries, subject–verb agreement, articles, and parallel verb forms. Aim to make each complex sentence complete and check that its subject and verbs remain clear.
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