Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays,an increasing number of people are with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatment rather than visiting their usual doctors.I strongly believes that this is negative development because they are just delaying their treatment.

The primary reason for my opinion is that alternative treamtments may not be scientifically proven.This is because many alternative ways are not tested by medical field and also the disease at home cannot be diagnos.For example,patient do not know which disease he had involved in.What if the patient think drinking oil help him in fast digestion and cure the constipation but he did not know that oil can block his vein and causes incrase in fat that lead to heart attack and many other heart illness.Therefore,I will not agree with this that it is a positive improvement.

Another important reason is that these people may delay effective medical treatment.In other words,they are using other ways then using effective and scientifically proven medicine.This can lead them to more complicated disease.For instance, the patient is taking medicine that is not for this disease and patient may have some kind of aliergy or infection that may become worst due to some of the alternative medicines and herbs he/she is having.Consequently, it may become untreatable or cause a serious infection that will lead the patient to deathbed.

In conclusion,I firmly believe that this is a negative development because it can cause other serious health problems and using other ways make disease cure slowly and inefficently.Therefore, this is a negative development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider the trend negative because people may delay appropriate care. Both body paragraphs give relevant reasons, including the lack of scientific testing and the risk of complications, and the examples about self-diagnosis and unsuitable remedies help explain your concerns. This addresses the question well. However, some points are less fully developed than others: the claim that oil could block a vein and cause a heart attack is presented as a definite outcome without support, and the second paragraph repeats the idea of delayed or ineffective treatment rather than extending it with a distinct explanation. To strengthen the response, qualify uncertain medical claims and explain more precisely how relying on alternative treatment can worsen a particular condition. The conclusion restates your view clearly, though it adds little synthesis.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two reason-focused body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The progression from unproven treatments to delayed effective care is logical, and signposts such as “The primary reason,” “Another important reason,” and “In conclusion” make the organisation easy to follow. This gives the essay a coherent framework. At times, however, cohesion feels mechanical because several sentences begin with explicit connectors such as “This is because,” “For example,” and “Therefore.” Some references are also unclear, particularly “this” in “I will not agree with this,” and the long example in the first body paragraph makes the line of reasoning harder to track. Use fewer formulaic transitions, make pronoun references explicit, and divide complex examples into shorter, clearly linked sentences.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “scientifically proven,” “effective medical treatment,” “complicated disease,” and “serious infection.” These phrases communicate the main concerns and show some ability to discuss health risks. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation errors reduce precision: “treamtments,” “diagnos,” “aliergy,” “incrase,” and “inefficently” are examples. Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “disease at home,” “heart illness,” and “become untreatable.” Build a more accurate set of topic-specific phrases and check spelling carefully. Prefer precise wording such as “diagnose a condition,” “cardiovascular disease,” and “the condition may become harder to treat,” rather than relying on broad or awkward expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including cause-and-effect structures with “because,” “that,” and “which,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, the complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries occur throughout. For example, “I strongly believes” has incorrect subject–verb agreement, while “patient do not know which disease he had involved in” has problems with the article, verb construction, and tense. The opening also contains a repeated structure: “people are with health problem are trying.” Punctuation spacing and comma use are inconsistent, especially in the long example sentences. Practise building accurate sentences first, then combine them; check each sentence for a clear subject and verb, correct agreement, and appropriate articles.

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