Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Presently, the increasing number of people with health challenges are using Orthodox medicine instead of meeting their usual doctors.

Firstly, the number of people with health problems that are using different method of medicine and treatment is increasing because they are more advertisement in the social media this days on different options in treatment of ailments and people seem to try this different approach which they think is more convenient to them though cost effective and may not even cure their disease at the end.

This development is a negative one because they don't know the ingredients, adverse effects, contraindications and drug interactions of the drugs they are taking as no laboratory investigation eas carried out to know if this agents will take care of their ailments or cause more harm to their system.

Furthermore, it's risky and dangerous to take drugs without doctor's guidelines as some drugs maybe harmful to the delicate body organs which may result to another serious health challenge that that alternative medicine cannot handle thereby resulting in admitting the person at hospital that may sometimes require longer stay at the hospital accumulating much medical bill for the patient. For example, one of my friend's neighbors that had peptic ulcer disease and had an appointment with her doctor which the physician requested some laboratory investigations to be done before commencement of any treatment, the patient went to the laboratory where she submitted her blood sample, ultrasound scan confirmed that her fetus was in breech position and elective ceascean section was booked. On the day she supposed to come for her delivery, she and her husband went to a traditional birth attendant who mismanaged the woman till when she was at the point of death, she referred them to the same hospital that booed her for ceascean section, but unfortunately, she died on the way before reaching the hospital after taking all the concoction the traditional birth Attendant gave her.

In conclusion, seeking for alternative medicine and treatment outside one's doctor is very dangerous and should be discouraged

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you regard replacing a usual doctor with alternative treatment as negative, and you support this with risks such as unknown ingredients, interactions, and delayed medical care. The detailed account of the pregnant patient gives a concrete example of the possible consequences, so the response meets the task and shows some development beyond a simple opinion. However, the example is very long and its connection to alternative medicine is not always clear: the discussion shifts from ulcer treatment to pregnancy and a planned caesarean. The point about social-media advertising is also introduced but not developed. To strengthen the response further, explain these links explicitly and balance the example with a more focused explanation of why people choose these treatments.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has an identifiable overall structure: an opening, reasons for your view, a supporting example, and a conclusion. Connectors such as “Firstly,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, the first body paragraph repeats the idea that more people are using different treatments, and the long example contains several events that are difficult to follow in sequence. Some references, such as “this development” and “they,” are not always precise, while the conclusion largely repeats the opening position rather than drawing the reasons together. Use separate paragraphs for distinct reasons, keep the example focused, and make links between sentences more explicit to improve progression and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a relevant range of health-related vocabulary, including “adverse effects,” “contraindications,” “drug interactions,” and “laboratory investigations.” These terms help communicate the risks you want to emphasise, and the meaning is generally understandable. There are, however, several inaccurate or unnatural choices that reduce precision, such as “Orthodox medicine” where the response means alternative medicine, “different method of medicine,” and “cost effective” in a context where the intended meaning appears to be affordability. Spelling and word-form slips, including “ceascean” and “booed,” also distract the reader. Aim for accurate collocations and consistent terminology; for example, distinguish clearly between conventional medical care and alternative treatments throughout.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer complex sentences, including clauses explaining causes and consequences. This gives the response some structural variety, but control is uneven: several long sentences contain multiple ideas and grammatical errors that make relationships harder to follow. For instance, “the increasing number of people … are using” has a subject–verb agreement problem, and “there are more advertisement” shows errors in both the verb construction and plural form. The example also shifts between past and present forms, and some sentence boundaries are unclear. Practise breaking long sentences into manageable units, checking agreement and tense consistency, and using punctuation to separate the stages of the example. These changes would make your argument easier to read.

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