Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

People hold different views regarding health problems. In recent years, a large number of people with health concerns are trying alternative home remedies and treatments instead of visiting their relevent doctor. From my standpoint, it is a negative development for young generation that may face more challenges to use remedies made by their own home.

On the one hand, there are several reasons that why I choose a negative segment. Firstly, young people use medicies that are nor proved by doctor they may be unhygenic. In addition, many countries included pakistan and india use this techniqe to improve the health problem. That are completely wrong thay may damage your health crises with the passage of time. Secondly, older people always to encourge young people that they should be used remedies they want to save money for future. I thing this one is also biggest drawback that young adults have to face in their society. Moreover, in homes individuals do not use gloves and many other bacterias and girms involved in the infection.

Furthermore, humans use medicens that are not verified by the doctor they direct and immediate immact on other organ of human bodies like liver, stomach and other part of body.

On the other hand, there are some further reasons that people not visting the doctor

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You state a clear negative view in the introduction and give relevant concerns, including possible infection from unhygienic home remedies and harm to organs such as the liver and stomach. However, the response addresses the question only partially: it focuses mainly on young people and home remedies, rather than explaining the broader consequences of choosing alternative treatments instead of a usual doctor. Several points are asserted but not explained or supported with a specific example, and the final paragraph begins “there are some further reasons” but gives no reason before the response ends. The required minimum of 250 words is not met, which further limits the development of your argument. Explain how delayed diagnosis or unverified treatments can affect patients, and complete the discussion of the opposing side before concluding.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: you introduce your position, use “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and add “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Furthermore” to signal points. These markers give the reader some guidance, but the overall progression is difficult to follow because the ideas are not clearly grouped or fully connected. For example, the paragraph moves from unproven medicines to countries, saving money, and hygiene without showing how each point develops the previous one. The final “On the other hand” paragraph is unfinished, so the contrast is not established. Use one paragraph for each main line of reasoning, explain each point in sequence, and use linking phrases only where they show a genuine relationship.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “alternative remedies,” “infection,” “verified,” and “organs,” which helps communicate the general subject. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts of the response harder to understand, such as “relevent,” “medicies,” “unhygenic,” and “girms.” Some phrases are also unnatural or unclear, including “negative segment,” “health crises,” and “direct and immediate impact on other organ.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. For instance, refer to “unverified treatments” rather than medicines “not proved by doctor,” and use “damage a person’s health” instead of the unclear phrase “damage your health crises.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a relative clause in “young generation that may face more challenges” and a sentence beginning “Moreover.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence structure, verb forms, agreement, and articles sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “young people use medicies that are nor proved by doctor they may be unhygenic” joins two clauses without appropriate punctuation or a clear grammatical link. “Older people always to encourge young people” is missing a finite verb, while “That are completely wrong” has unclear reference and agreement. Practise building complete sentences with one clear main clause, then add subordinate clauses accurately. Check articles and subject–verb agreement when revising.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.