Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, an increasing number of people with health issues has become an important issue. While people take medicine without helping doctor. but I believe that it is a negative development. because it has several disadvantages. This essay will explain the negative development.

Well, I think it is negative development. the reason I think is that people do not visit to doctor. Consequently, that is the major habit in our country. this is because people do not take care of us and it creates many problems in the body. As a result, it has negative outcomes. so, it feels uncomfortable and stress in the mind. For instance, there are so many hospitals in our country. but they do not go to doctor and take medicine well. that is the reason creates health problem people do not take those medicines by which they take.

Another important reason is that it also develops some other diseases. In other words, people take medicine without visit to doctor. they should go to doctor to take medicine and check the proper health. but they do not check the doctor on his health or condition. As a result, it has several disadvantages. For instance, I went to Lahore and I saw a hospital. there are those patients in the hospital by which take medicine without visiting o doctor.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that it is a negative development. because people do not visit to the doctor. So, they are taking medicine without checking his health. and that affect their body and creates many diseases.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

Your position is clear: you consider relying on alternative treatment instead of seeing a doctor to be negative, and you give two related concerns—untreated health problems and the possibility of further illness. However, the response only partially develops the task. It does not explain what alternative medicines or treatments people use, or clearly compare these with visiting a usual doctor. Several points repeat the idea that people do not see a doctor, while the examples, such as seeing patients in a Lahore hospital, do not show how alternative treatment caused harm. To strengthen the response, explain a specific risk, such as delayed diagnosis or an unsafe interaction, and support it with a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic essay structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The reader can follow your overall position, and phrases such as “For instance” and “In conclusion” signal examples and closure. However, progression within paragraphs is weak: ideas about not visiting doctors, taking medicine and developing health problems are repeated without clear explanation of how they connect. Some linking words are awkward or overused, including “As a result” and “In other words,” and sentence boundaries after “but” and “because” are often unclear. Organise each body paragraph around one distinct reason, then explain it and give a directly relevant example; use fewer, more precise transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use basic vocabulary relevant to health, including “health problems,” “doctor,” “medicine,” “diseases” and “disadvantages,” so the general topic is understandable. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, especially “negative development,” “doctor” and “medicine.” Some expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “check the proper health,” “creates many problems in the body” and “stress in the mind.” These choices sometimes make the intended meaning difficult to follow. Build a more specific vocabulary for the topic—for example, terms for diagnosis, side effects and delayed treatment—and practise natural combinations such as “consult a doctor” and “seek medical advice.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt a few longer sentences using connectors such as “While,” “Consequently” and “because,” but most sentence patterns are simple, and errors are frequent enough to affect clarity. Examples include “people with health issues has become,” where subject–verb agreement is incorrect, and “people do not visit to doctor,” where the sentence pattern and article use are faulty. Several sentence fragments also appear, such as “but I believe that it is a negative development. because it has several disadvantages.” Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, particularly after full stops. Practise forming complete sentences, checking agreement and articles, and joining clauses with accurate punctuation before adding more complex structures.

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