Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays,number of people are increases their health issues because people visiting unusual doctor instead of usual doctor.I think its a both positive or negative development so i higlight these problems and its impacts.

one one hand, people have a health problem so they going to the small medicine store they don't have a proper doctor.The medical have a pharmacologist only gave the medicines.Some time they do not about the problem so they gave the wrong medicine and suggest a alternative opinion like home made medicines and ways.Such ways create the many health problems.For example people used the cold drinks in the fllu so their problem are increased.So they are negative development

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a clear overall view that the development has negative effects, and the example about taking cold drinks for flu attempts to support this position. However, the opening says it is “both positive or negative,” which makes your stance unclear, and the response does not explain any positive effects despite the question asking whether the development is positive or negative. Your main point about medicines from a store being unsuitable is relevant, but it is only briefly explained and the example is not fully connected to the risks of avoiding a doctor. The response is also substantially below the required 250 words, so the task is addressed only minimally. Develop one clear position and support it with fuller explanations and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an introductory statement is followed by a paragraph beginning “one one hand,” and you use “For example” to introduce supporting detail. These signals show an effort to guide the reader. However, the response has no clear overall progression: the introduction promises to discuss both sides, but the body presents only negative effects, and there is no concluding paragraph. The phrase “one one hand” also suggests a contrast that is never completed. Several ideas run together, making the relationship between visiting a medicine store, receiving advice, and worsening health difficult to follow. Use separate paragraphs for your position and supporting reasons, and connect each example explicitly to the main argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “health problem,” “medicines,” “pharmacologist,” and “alternative opinion,” so the reader can identify the general subject. There are also attempts to express cause and effect through phrases such as “wrong medicine” and “health problems.” However, the vocabulary is basic and often inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes strains understanding. For instance, “unusual doctor” does not clearly express the idea of alternative treatment, while “small medicine store” and “alternative opinion” are imprecise in this context. Spelling errors such as “higlight” and “fllu” also reduce clarity. Build a more accurate set of health-related terms and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response mainly uses short, simple statements and makes an attempt at a longer cause-and-effect sentence: “Some time they do not about the problem so they gave the wrong medicine.” This shows an effort to link ideas, but the sentence is difficult to interpret because key grammatical elements are missing. Errors are frequent in verb forms and agreement, as in “number of people are increases” and “they going,” and articles and sentence boundaries are also often missing. The opening sentence contains several clauses without clear punctuation, while “I think its a both positive or negative development” has an unclear grammatical structure. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add clauses using “because,” “so,” and “although,” checking subject–verb agreement and verb forms.

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