Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, majority of people suffering from bad health due to aging and enviornmental causes like plloution, atmospheric harmful rays, pllouted water and so on. These changes effects the today generation badly for there treatment mostly, people prefer alternative medicines and therapies like daily exercise, yoga , and weight lifting at home especially male gender. They do not rely on doctor's advice and their medicine such people keep them fit by doing that's kinds of exercises enhances the circulation of blood inside the human's body. It's also plays a vital role in our daily life and activities like women can do all household works without any joints pain and muscle cramps, In male gender they also plays a role similarly, like women's it's also can help in the treatments of muscle pain and improve the regulation of blood in human's body. Males does not fell tired after their hectic shedule of daily works like in industries, factories, and other's campaig. It's mostly beneficial for young generations as compared to aged people's . When human beigns comes cross the age of 55-60 then they have body potential as similar to their young age as well, they do not take alternative exercise due to loss of body power.Morever, such types of people always rely on medicines or passing their life with the help of medicines. In my opinion atlernative medicines and therapies is good's for young people's are compared to aged so it's positive opportunity for me mostly people get benefits through this.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You express a general view that alternative treatments can be beneficial, especially for younger people, and you give examples such as exercise and yoga. However, the task asks whether this trend is positive or negative, and your position is not consistently clear: you discuss benefits but also say older people rely on medicines, without explaining whether this makes the trend harmful or how it relates to visiting a doctor. The response also focuses mainly on exercise and physical effects rather than alternative medicines and the risks of replacing medical advice. To strengthen the response, state your position directly and develop relevant reasons, such as when complementary treatments may help and why they should not replace a doctor’s diagnosis.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a recognisable line of discussion: you introduce health problems, describe exercise-based treatments, and end with an opinion. However, the ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and the long opening section moves between pollution, yoga, women’s household work, men’s jobs, and older people without clear transitions. Linking words such as “also,” “similarly,” and “moreover” do not always show the relationship between ideas, while repeated references to “male gender” and “human’s body” make progression difficult to follow. Organise the response into an introduction, separate body paragraphs for your main reasons, and a conclusion. Use clear topic sentences and connect each example directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to health and treatment, including “alternative medicines,” “therapies,” “circulation of blood,” and “muscle cramps.” This gives you some means of discussing the topic, but the range is limited and several inaccurate or unnatural expressions make parts difficult to understand. Examples include “atmospheric harmful rays,” “other’s campaign,” and “positive opportunity”; the intended meanings are unclear or do not fit the context. Spelling errors such as “enviornmental,” “plloution,” and “shedule” also reduce clarity. Build a more accurate set of topic phrases and check spelling, word forms, and collocations. For example, use “environmental factors,” “work-related fatigue,” and “a positive development.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to combine ideas in longer sentences, for example when explaining how exercise may affect circulation and daily activities. However, sentence structures are often faulty, and errors frequently make relationships between ideas hard to follow. The opening is a fragment (“Nowadays, majority of people suffering…”), and there are repeated problems with agreement and verb forms, as in “These changes effects” and “Males does not fell tired.” Articles and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, particularly in the long sequence beginning “They do not rely on doctor's advice.” Practise writing complete sentences with one main idea each, then check subject–verb agreement, verb forms, articles, and punctuation. More accurate simple sentences will make your argument clearer before you attempt longer structures.

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