Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Health is a foremost part of an individuals life. With it, survival could not be possible. It is widely accepted that nowadays, as population increases, there are a lot of health problems and issues. Most people with these health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments without doctor's prescription and check up. According to my opinion, it is a negative development and very wrong practice. My position is elaborated with further discussion and relevant examples.

The foremost thing in this discussion is that taking medicine without doctor's recommendation and prescription is very health risky and wrong practice specially in Pakistan. For instance, two years ago, one of mine very close friends mother had died because she did the same practice. She never went to doctor and always use to do these home and homeopathic base medicine alternatives. At the end her blood reports identified the death cause and that was because of this practice.

While continuing this discussion, I would like to point out one more example. One of mine very close family member faced the same situation almost one year ago. My aunt diagnosed with chronic kidney disease and she taught to rely on dialysis. She never went for dialysis. Instead, she started doing same stuff, used alternatives to medicines and other treatment and she died right after 7 days. Her pulmonary edema (death cause) identified that she took medicine alternatives and never done her dialysis, which cause inflammation and water retention in her body to a very dangerous extent.

To conclude this and offer my own position, I would like to say that it is a very wrong approach to take medicine alternatives and treatment. People should avoid them

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you consider replacing a usual doctor with alternative treatments a negative development, and both personal examples are relevant to the risks of delaying medical care. The account of your aunt’s kidney disease and decision not to undergo dialysis gives a specific illustration, while the first example supports the same central concern. However, the response focuses almost entirely on two deaths and does not explain the broader reasons people choose alternatives or distinguish potentially supportive treatments from those used instead of medical care. The conclusion repeats your view but offers little further development. To strengthen the response, explain the general consequences of avoiding diagnosis or evidence-based treatment, then connect each example explicitly to that reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present examples, and a conclusion restates your position. This makes the overall argument easy to follow. However, progression is somewhat mechanical, particularly with phrases such as “The foremost thing in this discussion” and “While continuing this discussion,” which announce points without clearly showing how they relate. The two body paragraphs also make very similar points, so the argument does not develop much beyond the first example. Some references are unclear, as in “she did the same practice” and “that was because of this practice.” Use more precise links between claims and evidence, and organise the body around distinct reasons rather than two parallel anecdotes.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “alternative medicines,” “chronic kidney disease,” “dialysis,” and “pulmonary edema,” which helps communicate the subject matter. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “negative development” and “relevant examples.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “health is a foremost part,” “very health risky,” “homeopathic base medicine alternatives,” and “death cause.” Repetition of “practice,” “alternatives,” and “same situation” also limits flexibility. Aim for precise, natural combinations such as “a serious health risk,” “homeopathic remedies,” and “the cause of death.” Check word forms and spelling, especially in medical terms, so that specialised vocabulary remains clear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including the sentence beginning “Most people with these health problems…” and the explanation of your aunt’s condition. The main message is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. Examples include “an individuals life” (possessive form), “one of mine very close friends mother” (possessive and noun phrase structure), “she taught to rely on dialysis” (verb form and construction), and “which cause inflammation” (tense agreement). Articles and sentence construction also need attention in “My aunt diagnosed with chronic kidney disease.” Practise building accurate sentences with possessives, past-tense verbs, and relative clauses. More reliable control of these forms would make your examples easier to follow while allowing you to use a wider range of structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.