Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Recently,there is an increasing trend for people having health related issues to be trying diffrent kind of medications and treatments rather than going to a hospital or clinc.this can be seen as a negetive development as it could involves unsafe methouds of treatment and these various practises also breaks the law of the country.

Deadly or unhygenic practices takes place in these areas were alternative forms of physotheraphy takes place this can lead to unforseen concequences for patients in many places.these methouds are completly unscientific or logical

For instace, in 2022 a cult was seen attracting patients in japan using higher power to help patients fight any illness, thier methouds require sacrificing a goat the draning its blood and help the patients drink the blood this lead to patients develope infections in thier body.

Laws are broken and secrataly and patients are been operated upon. around the world these fake doctors have no licence or legal requiremnets to operate on people, they have no obligation to make sure the sick remain healthy or be free for thier ilness.

for instance, in 2021 a study showed that people who operate in underground clinics tend to make sure patients become a regular customer giving them some painkillers to only subside the pain.

Overall,i belive that the best form of treatment still is going to a practing legal doctor and never falling prey to cultist or other illegal alternative mediciens as they can have unforseen results and lead to devloping other long term problems.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the opening: you regard the growing use of alternative treatments instead of doctors as negative. Both reasons—unsafe practices and the lack of legal oversight—are relevant, and the examples about the Japanese group and underground clinics help illustrate them. This meets the task well. However, the examples are asserted rather than explained or supported, and the second point about clinics giving painkillers is less fully connected to the claim that patients’ health is put at risk. To strengthen the response further, explain the consequences of delaying proper diagnosis or treatment and develop each example with clearer reasoning. Your conclusion restates your view, though it could synthesise the two reasons more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction stating your view, two body paragraphs presenting reasons, and a concluding paragraph. The progression from unsafe practices to lack of regulation is logical, and phrases such as “For instance” signal examples. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, with both body paragraphs relying on a similar claim-then-example pattern. Some links between sentences are unclear, particularly where the discussion moves from illegal operators to patients becoming regular customers. Sentence boundaries and punctuation also make the flow harder to follow. Use clearer transitions to show cause and effect, and ensure each paragraph develops one central point in a sequence that is easy to track.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “alternative forms,” “unscientific,” “underground clinics,” “licence,” and “long term problems.” These choices communicate the main concerns and show an attempt to discuss health care and regulation. However, the range is limited and several spelling errors or imprecise expressions distract the reader, such as “methouds,” “unhygenic,” and “secretaly.” Some collocations are also awkward: “higher power” and “fight any illness” do not sound precise in this context, while “free for their illness” is unclear. Build a more accurate set of phrases for medical risks and oversight, and check spelling carefully. More precise wording would make your argument easier to understand without changing its core ideas.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences that explain consequences, for example, “this can lead to … consequences for patients.” This gives the response some structural variety. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries sometimes make meaning difficult to follow. For example, “practices takes place” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “these various practices also breaks” has the same issue. The sentence beginning “their methods require sacrificing a goat” also shifts awkwardly between actions and tenses. Several run-on sentences, such as the opening paragraph, need full stops and capital letters. Practise building accurate complex sentences, then proofread for agreement and punctuation.

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