Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.
Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Individuals are increasing the usage of a substitute medicines and treatments rather than visiting a relevant professional in this time. I believe that this is a negative development because it may damage the entire health and increases the misadvertising among general masses which ruins health care systems.
Having alternative medicine may make the health condition even worser. Because general individuals are not qualified to select appropriate medicines or treatments by themselves. As a result, their illness get more fatal gradually. Eventually, some patients die for the wrong treatments. For example, many patients use spectacles without taking advice from the qualified doctors which is leading them to permanent damage of vision.
Additionally, some dishonest buisnessman use this ignorance as their main tool to promote their business. Those companies misguide the people by providing wrong information in their advertisement. For example, there are many beauty products which are claiming themselves as a cure of the acne problem which is not clinically proven. Consequently, numerous patients purchase those products and use them which are not prescribed by a doctor. For this reason, they are hampering their health progress. Moreover, it can destroy the structure of the health care system of a country as people will not tend to visit qualified doctor anymore.
In conclusion, plenty of indivisuals are using alternative medicine and treatments without taking permission from their doctor which is not completely a positive development as it makes public health more severe and also it ruins the health care industry as it creates a scope to promote wrong product among poor people.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
Your position is clear from the introduction: you consider the growing use of alternative treatments a negative development, and the conclusion returns to this view. You address the topic with two relevant reasons: self-treatment may worsen illness, and misleading advertising can encourage people to use unproven products. The examples of spectacles and acne products help illustrate these points. However, some ideas are less fully developed than others. The spectacles example is not clearly connected to alternative medicine, and the claim that patients may die is asserted without explanation or support. The effect on the healthcare system is also introduced briefly rather than explored. Explain the links between each example and your main argument more precisely.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate reasons, and a conclusion summarises your position. Connectors such as “Additionally,” “Consequently,” and “Moreover” make the progression easy to follow. At times, however, cohesion feels mechanical because several sentences rely on explicit linking phrases rather than developing a clear chain of reasoning. The opening of the first body paragraph, “Having alternative medicine may make the health condition even worser. Because…,” is also awkwardly divided, and the reference in “which is leading them” is not fully clear. Build smoother links between claims and examples, and use pronouns only when their reference is unmistakable.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “qualified,” “clinically proven,” “advertisement,” and “health care system,” which helps communicate your concerns. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “misguide the people” and “hampering their health progress.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “a substitute medicines,” “relevant professional,” “more fatal,” and “destroy the structure” of the health care system. Spelling errors such as “buisnessman” and “indivisuals” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural combinations—for example, “alternative treatments,” “a qualified doctor,” and “undermine the healthcare system”—and check spelling carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including cause-and-effect structures with “As a result” and a relative clause in “products which are claiming themselves as a cure.” Most of the meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Examples include article and number agreement in “a substitute medicines,” subject–verb agreement in “their illness get,” and the faulty construction “Because general individuals are not qualified…” as a sentence fragment. The final sentence also has an unclear structure: “which is not completely a positive development as it makes…” Make the relationship between clauses explicit, check singular and plural forms, and vary sentence patterns while ensuring each sentence is complete.
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