Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, many people are facing health problems they are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of going their special doctor. In my opinion this is negative development from the side of individuals, if they not come to a doctor and don't discuses with the doctor for the treatments, i think they can passed away.

If a person is suffering from illness, he should to go in hospital and take appointment from a doctor, and should to discus with doctor about the illness. In our society many individuals are poor and don't have many for treatment and they cannot pay the fees of doctor, in this result they died outside the clinics and at house. In this situation, government should to action and should provide medicines for poor people.

If a person want to live alive, he need to check up every six months after that he can alive. I have seen many peoples that when the fall ill they don't take medicine, because of this they suffer many more disease at the end they died. i will suggest to people if you want to spend most time at earth then you need to keep focus on health, if you feel no so good, please discuss with a better doctor. Second thing is that don't use a own medicine because you don't know about the medicine and can not judge which is best and which is not good.

In conclusion, every one should stay healthy and save from the disease, and should discussion with doctor.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

Your position is clear: you consider replacing a usual doctor with alternative treatments a negative development, and you give relevant advice about seeking professional care. However, the response only partially addresses the question because it says little about alternative medicines themselves or why people choose them; the discussion shifts instead to poverty, routine check-ups and general health. The examples about people avoiding medicine and dying are broad and not explained in detail, so the main argument remains under-developed. The response is also 4 words below the 250-word minimum; the 8 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. To strengthen the answer, explain specific risks of unverified treatments and support your position with a clearer, developed example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from your opinion to supporting points and then a conclusion. Some links, such as “In conclusion” and “because of this,” help show relationships between ideas. However, progression is not consistently clear: the paragraph about poverty and government support moves away from the central comparison between alternative treatments and medical care, while the next paragraph combines check-ups, personal observations and advice without a clear sequence. Repeated use of “and” and “should” also makes the connections mechanical. Organise each body paragraph around one reason, then explain and illustrate it, using clearer references to connect each sentence to that reason.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use basic vocabulary relevant to health, including “illness,” “treatment,” “medicine” and “doctor,” so the general topic is understandable. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or unnatural choices make the message less clear, such as “their special doctor,” “many for treatment,” “live alive” and “spend most time at earth.” There are also repeated words, particularly “doctor,” “people” and “health,” and spelling or word-form errors such as “discuses” and “peoples.” Build a more precise set of topic vocabulary and check collocations and word forms. For example, use “regular doctor,” “afford treatment” and “remain healthy” in place of the less natural phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example with “if” and “because,” but control of sentence structure is weak and errors occur frequently. The opening joins two clauses without suitable punctuation or a connector: “many people are facing health problems they are trying…” Verb patterns are also often incorrect, as in “he should to go,” “should to discus” and “he need to check up.” Other problems include agreement and sentence formation in “If a person want” and “they died outside the clinics and at house.” Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, including lowercase “i.” Practise accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses, checking subject–verb agreement, verb forms and sentence boundaries.

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