Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.
Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In recent years, alternative medicines and treatments are increasing popular among peoples suffering from different health issues. Although these medicines and treatments may provide certain benefits, but relying on them instead of consulting a doctor is a negative development. In this essay i will examine the short term benfits and long term negative aspects of alternative medicines.
On the one hand, alternative medicines have some advantages. Many people prefer traditional remedies because they are more afforable, easily accessible, and based on familiar cultural practices. For example, when an individual have a pain in his any part of body he may use instantly a pain killer because it is easily available for pain relief, this pain killer give him relief for a certain period of time. One more example from rural reas is that when an individual have pain, they use herbal teas and ceratin traditional therapies may help people relex, reduce stress or manage minor discomfort.
On the other hand, replacing profissional medical checkup by alterantive medicines or treatments can be more dangerous. Some heath problems and diseases may need proper diagnosis or imediate medical attention. if patients rely on unapprovan remedies, instead of consulting with a physician and allow their conditions to become more serious. For instance, my father had pain in his knees since 2005, he never consulted with any medical specialist suc as arhtopedic surgeons, in contrats he had used pain killers for almost seven years. These pain killers may gave instant pain relief but using regulary for seven years had neagtive impact on other parts of body. Biecause of using these medicines, my father kindey's had stoped fuctioning. Later a eurologist has adviced my father stop using these pain killers and consult with arthopedic surgeon and use proper medicine for knees pain.
In my opion, alterantive medicines and treatments may gave short term benfit but have long term neagtive aspects as well. People should consult qualified medical specialists before trying unfamiliar treatments, especially when dealing with serious or long term illnesses.
In conclusion, although alternative remedies may provide comfort and some health benfits, using them instead of visiting a doctor can put peoples health at risk, Therefore, I consider this trend to be largely negative.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
Your position is clear throughout: you acknowledge that remedies may offer short-term comfort, but argue that replacing medical care is negative. Both sides are addressed, and the example of your father’s prolonged use of painkillers supports your concern about delayed diagnosis and harm. The conclusion also answers the question directly. To make the response more fully developed, distinguish more carefully between alternative treatments and ordinary painkillers: the latter example does not clearly illustrate alternative medicine, so the link to the prompt is weakened. The rural herbal-tea example is relevant, but its benefits are asserted rather than explained in detail. More precise explanation of how qualified medical advice can prevent harm would strengthen the support for your position.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0
The essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, contrasting body paragraphs, a stated opinion and a conclusion. The progression from possible benefits to risks is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. The personal example also gives the second body paragraph a clear focus. At times, however, the linking is somewhat formulaic, and some sentences contain several ideas joined together, making the progression less smooth—for example, the sentence beginning “For example, when an individual…” moves from a general situation to a painkiller’s effect in one long sequence. Use clearer sentence boundaries and refer back to the central issue of substituting for a doctor more consistently.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use vocabulary relevant to health and treatment, including “proper diagnosis,” “medical attention,” “traditional therapies” and “qualified medical specialists.” These choices help communicate the main argument, and there is some attempt to use topic-specific language. However, spelling errors and inaccurate word forms are frequent, including “afforable,” “alterantive,” “unapprovan” and “neagtive,” which reduce the precision and polish of the writing. Some expressions are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “a pain in his any part of body” and “other parts of body.” Aim to check spelling carefully and learn common health-related collocations as complete phrases. More accurate use of a smaller set of precise terms would improve clarity and control.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt a range of sentence forms, including contrast clauses and conditional structures, as in “Although these medicines… may provide certain benefits” and “when dealing with serious or long term illnesses.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to affect ease of reading. Examples include “Although… but,” “when an individual have,” and the incomplete construction “if patients rely on unapprovan remedies… and allow their conditions to become more serious.” Verb forms and agreement also need attention: “had used” and “had stoped” do not fit the intended sequence consistently, while “a neurologist has advised” shifts tense awkwardly in the past narrative. Practise building shorter, complete sentences first, then check agreement, tense consistency and clause structure.
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