Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Recently, a rising number of individuals with medical challenges are using subtitute drugs and care rather than meeting their already known medical specialist. I am strongly of the opinion that it is a negative development.

To start with, people who use alternative treatments have caused health complications to the society. The use of substitute drugs without consulting certified medical personnels had led to increase in kidney failure. For instance, the consumption of natural remedy like herbs according to statistics had increased the the rate of damage to kidney to 40%, as a result , it becomes very toxic to kidneys causing complication to this organ.

Similarly, alternative medicines and treatments have increased mortality rate in the country. The older adults who are hypentensive that requires regular use of their anti-hypertensive medication prescribed by doctors, because they dont consult their usual doctor, they tend to use other products which interact with oral hypertensive drugs causing blood pressure of the elderly to rise, because of poorly controlled hypertension, it results to sudden unexplained death, increasing the number of the aged who die annually.

On the contrary, without doubt, it has been recorded that use of natural remedies had contributed effectively to the musculo-skeletal health of individuals. The use of organic cream which is in its natural form had been used by bone setters to improve the bony structure of people. For example, during accidents involving bone fracture, the use of this organic cream had been used for bone alignment which has helped improved the state of health of people.

In conclusion, aside the use of natural remedies, like; organic cream to align fractured bone, I am still strongly of the view that alternative use of medicines and treatments, have a negative impact by causing health complications, and increasing mortality rate in the society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction and conclusion: you consider the growing use of alternative treatment a negative development. You support this view with relevant concerns about kidney damage and poorly controlled hypertension, and you acknowledge a possible benefit of organic cream for fractures. This addresses the question and shows some of the development expected beyond a basic response. However, the positive example is not fully reconciled with your overall argument, and the claims about kidney damage and mortality rely on broad assertions rather than clearly explained evidence. To strengthen the response further, explain how these examples demonstrate the risks of replacing a doctor’s care, and qualify or substantiate the statistics and medical claims.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two paragraphs presenting risks, a paragraph acknowledging a benefit, and a conclusion. The progression from complications to mortality and then to a counterpoint is generally understandable. However, some linking is mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “Similarly” and “On the contrary,” and the latter introduces a contrast without clearly showing how it relates to your main position. Several sentences contain multiple ideas joined by “because” and “which,” making relationships harder to follow. Use clearer topic sentences and divide long explanations into shorter units. More precise referencing and transitions would make the argument flow more smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of topic-related vocabulary, including “alternative treatments,” “kidney failure,” “mortality rate,” and “poorly controlled hypertension.” These choices help communicate the subject and show an attempt to use more specific language. However, some expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “subtitute drugs,” “medical personnels,” and “the musculo-skeletal health.” There are also spelling errors, including “hypentensive,” and imprecise phrases such as “already known medical specialist.” These do not prevent understanding, but they reduce precision and naturalness. Aim for standard collocations and check spelling; for example, refer to “alternative remedies,” “healthcare professionals,” and a patient’s “regular doctor.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “which,” and “although”-type contrast. The main message remains understandable, but some sentences are difficult to control. For example, “The older adults who are hypentensive that requires regular use…” has an unclear clause structure, and “because they dont consult their usual doctor, they tend to use…” is attached to an already overloaded sentence. There are also errors in agreement and verb forms, as in “the use … had led to increase” and “it has helped improved.” Work on building one main clause at a time, checking subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, and using punctuation to separate complete ideas. This will improve accuracy while retaining complex structures.

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