Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is very common for people to change both their habits and their opinions as they get older.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

One of the most conspicious trends in today is the colossal upserge people changed their habits and their opinions as they get older. There is wildspread worry that this will only lead a myreiad concerned in the society .This topic will will both way disagee and agree using a prudent approach and lead to a logical conclusion.on the one hand critics may point out that one most significant causes in regard to human chaged their habits and opinions when they get older is that becuse they expecting to their family menber give them respect as they earning in working but after retirement they maximum stay in home and their mind will change according to their house envirnment .Needless to say aforementioned claims stand one in the good stead as far as augmenting the chances of prosperity and excellence is concerned.

On the otherhand there are number of arguments in favor of my stance.One of the most preponderant ones is that changed their habits and opinions has some negative consequences effects for the community in various ways ..

Firstly , according to research conducted by the Australia goverment more than thirty percents participants acknowledged negetive effects of given subject.

Secondly based on the loacl soicety survey most of things are came in light approximatley seventy percents older ages persons changed their behavior becuse of they are free from most daily activities and depending living on thier young falily members lifestyles ,

Lastly in my opinion the govermnet of Austrlia taking a great initiative ti educating its people on the impact of their habits and opinion will be remain same as thier young life .Citizens are being encourged to adhere in the rule and regulation to promote competence ,efficasy ans a constructive environment in the society .

in the view of arguments outlined above one can conclude that despite having some causes , the drawback solutions of the given subject in the society are indeed too dire to ignore .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the prompt regarding whether people change their habits and opinions as they get older, but the position remains unclear and confused. While the writer tries to present arguments on both sides, the ideas are underdeveloped, heavily convoluted, and sometimes contradictory. For instance, the reference to retirement and family expectations lacks clear logical development and connection to the main prompt. Furthermore, the introduction of irrelevant points regarding Australian government initiatives and statistics does not adequately support the core argument. According to the Band 5 descriptors, the task is addressed only partially, and the position is not consistently clear throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The essay displays severe issues with logical progression and paragraphing. The introduction is dense and confusing, featuring awkward transitional phrases such as 'This topic will will both way disagee and agree'. Paragraphing is poorly handled, with multiple distinct points crammed into single paragraphs rather than being logically separated. Cohesive devices are either misused or absent, and referencing is frequently unclear, making the flow difficult to follow. While there is a basic attempt to structure an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, the lack of smooth transitions and logical progression places the performance within the Band 4 descriptor, where information and ideas are not arranged coherently.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used throughout the essay is severely limited by frequent word-choice errors, incorrect collocations, and pervasive spelling mistakes. Examples include 'conspicious', 'upserge', 'wildspread', 'myreiad', 'chaged', and 'soicety'. While the writer attempts to use more complex or less common vocabulary such as 'prudent approach', 'preponderant', and 'efficasy', these attempts fail due to incorrect spelling and improper contextual usage. These numerous errors frequently strain the reader and impede clear communication, aligning closely with the Band 4 descriptor where basic vocabulary errors and severe spelling issues hinder overall comprehension.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, and sentence structures are frequently broken or ungrammatical. The text contains numerous basic errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, and clause structure, such as 'people changed their habits', 'lead a myreiad concerned in the society', and 'most of things are came in light'. Complex sentence attempts almost invariably result in severe structural errors and awkward phrasing that obscure the intended meaning. Punctuation is also incorrectly applied, particularly around commas. Due to the high frequency of grammatical errors that regularly distort meaning, the response falls firmly within the Band 4 descriptor.

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