Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

It is very common for people to change both their habits and their opinions as they get older.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years, the issue of elderly ages has become a considerable dabate and widespread dicussion in society.while some people say that has the age is getting older its affected to there daily practices and way of thinking.I firmly believe that it is common factor in every human being I am completely agree with this view, and in this essay, i will eloborate the varies reasons and explains how this approach is benefical for individual and the society as a whole.

to begin with,one of the most important aspect to this matter is as the age after 70 older people have less adaptablity to sense the surrondings, this is because of multiple brain stoppers to process as medical conditions.For instrance, as the years goes there mind become childesh which can also seem in the way of communication perhaps in there activities.As a result, giving good care can lead to be protect them.

Addition to that,the most compelling reason and support this opinion is that after retirement there are inactive in there physical and mental stage,this is mainly because of insufficient diet and less activities. for example, in recent report from harvard university of america has says that older must get eough protiens will help there memory and body fit. To illustrate,this evident that it is extremely significant in todays world and should be given serious attention.

In conclusion,i strongly agree that it is pravalent for individual to alter their routines and their mindset as they getting older.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You state a clear position—“I firmly believe” and “I strongly agree”—and give reasons related to changes in older people’s thinking and activity. However, the response only partially addresses the question because it focuses mainly on people over 70 and does not clearly explain how people’s habits and opinions change across ageing more generally. The examples are also unclear or insufficiently connected to the claim: the reference to “brain stoppers” and the Harvard report does not show specifically how habits or opinions change. The response is 247 words, so it does not meet the 250-word minimum. Develop each reason with a clear, relevant example and explain its link to both habits and opinions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs introduced by “to begin with” and “Addition to that,” and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the main stages of your argument. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow because ideas are joined without clear explanation. For example, the first body paragraph moves from adaptability to brain processing, communication, activities, and care without showing how these points connect to the question. Some linking phrases, such as “To illustrate,” introduce no clear illustration. Use one main idea per paragraph, explain it in a logical sequence, and make references such as “this” or “there” clearly identify the point being discussed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt topic-related vocabulary, including “daily practices,” “way of thinking,” “adaptability,” “retirement,” and “insufficient diet.” These choices show an effort to discuss ageing and its effects. However, the range is limited and many spelling, word-choice, and collocation errors make parts of the response difficult to understand, such as “brain stoppers,” “childesh,” and “pravalent.” Phrases like “elderly ages” and “inactive in there physical and mental stage” are also unnatural or unclear. Build accuracy before reaching for unusual expressions: use familiar, precise phrases such as “older adults,” “daily routines,” and “cognitive abilities,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional-style explanation beginning “this is because” and a concluding statement with “that.” However, sentence structures are frequently faulty, and errors sometimes obscure meaning. For example, “while some people say that has the age is getting older its affected” has an unclear clause structure, while “as they getting older” is missing an auxiliary verb. There are also recurring problems with agreement and sentence boundaries, as in “the years goes” and the run-on opening after “society.” Practise forming complete clauses, checking subject–verb agreement and verb forms, and using full stops to separate ideas. Aim for accurate sentences before adding complexity.

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