Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that international sports events, such as The Olympics or the Football World Cup, are a good way to bring countries together. Others say that these events create competition, not friendship, between countries.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Well in my opnions i want to say you that by the sports like olympic we can't find any peace or friendship between two countries because of the winning and loosing effect i will give you some revelant examples which is related to me.once i was in my collages days there was a match of india pakistan in our home town ground so all the batch mates of my college decide to book the tickets and we have gone to watch the match and there i get to know that we have got the seat besoide the against team and they are cheering in very aggresive way and we are hating the screams and we decided to talk with them because they are so disturbing to see the match and we started the talk the got so offend with us and they started usimng abusive words towards us and our nation my friends cant tolerate that and starting figting with those guys and in the fight my left arm was broken and i have taken to the hospital and the doctor excamine me and said my left arm will never work as it was working in your past i got a disabilty from that fight so i totally disagree to maintain distance from our opponent and there is benefit also some time we used to deal with the emergy cases that will from our opponent team so It will create friendship by supporing the same team which is playing good just like siraj he is a good bowler and the pakistani supporters also love the bowling of siraj and they cheers for him also that it

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear personal view that sports events do not reliably create peace, and the account of the India–Pakistan match provides a specific example of hostility. You also briefly acknowledge the opposing view through the example of Pakistani supporters appreciating Siraj’s bowling. However, the discussion is unbalanced: the positive view is only touched on at the end, and the response does not explain in a developed way how international events might bring countries together. The personal incident dominates, while the task asks you to discuss both views and give your opinion. To strengthen the response, explain each view in turn, connect your examples directly to those arguments, and make your conclusion explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

The response has a recognisable sequence: you state your view, narrate an incident, and then mention a possible benefit of sports. The match story gives the reader a concrete line of events. However, almost the entire answer is presented as one long sentence-like block, so the shift from hostility to the benefits of sport is abrupt and difficult to follow. Linking phrases such as “because,” “so,” and “and” are repeated, and references such as “that” do not always make clear which idea they refer to. Use separate paragraphs for the two views and your opinion, and organise the personal example into shorter sentences with clear transitions. This would make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “opponent,” “supporters,” “bowler,” and “abusive words,” which helps communicate the match and its atmosphere. The account also includes specific details rather than relying entirely on general statements. However, vocabulary is often basic or inaccurately chosen, and spelling errors such as “opnions,” “revelant,” and “aggresive” make the writing harder to read. Some phrases are unclear or unnatural, including “winning and loosing effect” and “deal with the emergy cases.” Aim for more precise collocations and check spelling carefully. For example, describe the “pressure to win” or “emergency situations,” and use vocabulary that clearly distinguishes rivalry from cooperation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect events and reasons using clauses with “because,” “when,” and “that,” and the reader can generally identify the main events in your story. However, sentence structures are often run together, with several independent ideas joined by “and” or “so” without appropriate punctuation. There are also frequent problems with verb forms and agreement, as in “my friends cant tolerate that and starting figting,” and with articles and sentence construction, as in “there was a match of india pakistan.” These errors sometimes make relationships between events unclear. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine ideas using accurate subordinate clauses and punctuation.

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