Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people believe that international sports events, such as The Olympics or the Football World Cup, are a good way to bring countries together. Others say that these events create competition, not friendship, between countries.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Harinder Kaur (6712)

In many parts of the world. Jobless citizens are given weekly payments after they lose their job. This policy have significant effect on both the individuals and the government. I think although such financial support is helpful it should be implemented with carefull consideration.

One major impact on individuals weekly employment benefits act as a safety net because with these they are able to complete their daily basic needs such as medical treatments or they can search a job according to their skills and interest. without the assistance of government. Some people may be accept very low paying jobs or face serious financial difficulties which could be effect their mental health.

However this policy of paying jobless people can create substantial burden on the government. The government needs to spend more money on these benefits As a result it may increase taxes on walking people. or

this can reduce the government spending on other public services such as education and healthcare. Moreover, if people receive these benefits forlong period they will be less motivated.

In my opinion government suppad for jobless people is indeed helpful esp. especially who needs these benefits for survival. Government should set a reasonable time limit for these payments and encoulage unemployed people to actively search for jobs. They could also provide job-training programs to help people new skills.

In conclusion, while financial assistance helps jobless people to make their lives a like less stressful, these payments cause problems to the government to manage their budget. so a balaver approach, consisting weekly payments for limited time is more ideal

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 2.0

The student has written a response about government financial support for jobless citizens, which actually addresses a completely different prompt than the one provided about international sports events bringing countries together. Because the response is entirely off-topic regarding the given instructions, it cannot address the specific requirements of the task. The ideas presented are well-developed in terms of their own internal logic, discussing the pros and cons of unemployment benefits for individuals and the government, and concluding with a personal opinion. However, due to the complete irrelevance to the prompt about international sports events, the task response is severely impacted. Therefore, it is awarded a band score of 2.0 based on the severe misunderstanding or misapplication of the prompt requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

Despite being off-topic for the task, the text demonstrates a coherent overall structure with clear paragraphing. The writer introduces the topic, discusses individual impacts, government impacts, provides a personal opinion, and concludes appropriately. Cohesive devices are used to guide the reader through the arguments, such as 'One major impact', 'However', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion'. While some referencing is basic and transitions can feel slightly mechanical, the progression of ideas within the essay itself is logical and easy to follow. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately to separate distinct points. This organization reflects a competent grasp of essay structuring, warranting a band score of 6.0 for coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used throughout the essay is adequate for conveying basic arguments, featuring terms such as 'financial support', 'safety net', 'medical treatments', 'unemployed people', and 'budget'. However, there are notable lexical errors and awkward word choices, such as 'walking people' instead of 'working people', 'forlong period' lacking spacing, and 'balaver approach' instead of 'balanced approach'. The writer attempts less common vocabulary like 'substantial burden' and 'carefull consideration', but these are occasionally marred by spelling mistakes or inaccurate collocations. The range is sufficient to communicate the writer's meaning, but the limitations and errors constrain the lexical score to a band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures with subordinate clauses like 'although such financial support is helpful it should be implemented...' and 'if people receive these benefits forlong period they will be less motivated.' However, grammatical control is inconsistent. There are several punctuation and sentence boundary issues, such as starting sentences with lowercase letters, missing periods or commas, and fragmenting sentences like 'One major impact on individuals weekly employment benefits act as a safety net'. Agreement errors also occur, such as 'This policy have significant effect'. While communication is rarely impeded entirely, the frequency of structural and mechanical errors pulls the grammatical score to a band 5.0.

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