Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-08
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people believe that international sports events, such as The Olympics or the Football World Cup, are a good way to bring countries together. Others say that these events create competition, not friendship, between countries.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
reason - it fosters cultural gathering
why - they get an opportunity to connect with people from different country learn culture-traditions- language
result- they can learn different language, enhance their knowledge and build friendship- economically they get support - discipline and behaaviour
ex-people can get inspired by looking japaniese culture and disciplined
reason- everyone show their talent and become successful
why- when competiton people think about only themselves to win and create identity
result - sometimes leads to misunderstandings and conflicts between nations - which might results in unexpected circumstance like war
example - recent ongoing war between ukraine and usa
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
You identify both sides of the discussion: international events may encourage cultural contact and friendship, while competition may lead to conflict. However, the response addresses the task only minimally. The first view is supported with brief points about learning languages and Japanese discipline, but these are listed rather than explained. The opposing view is also asserted without showing how sporting rivalry could realistically cause misunderstandings between countries. Your own opinion is not stated, and the example of an “ongoing war between Ukraine and USA” is unclear and does not convincingly support the point. The response is also substantially below the required 250 words. Develop each view with a clear explanation and relevant example, then state your position explicitly.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The notes are grouped into two sections, one for each view, so the reader can recognise the basic organisation. Labels such as “reason,” “why,” “result,” and “ex” also signal the intended relationship between points. However, this is not yet a coherent essay: the ideas are fragments rather than connected sentences, and there is no introduction, conclusion, or clear progression from one paragraph to the next. The sequence within the first section is difficult to follow, particularly the jump from cultural learning to economic support and discipline. Turn the notes into complete paragraphs, use linking expressions to show cause and contrast, and make the relationship between each claim and its example explicit.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “cultural,” “traditions,” “language,” “competition,” “talent,” and “conflicts.” These words help communicate the general subject, and “fosters” is a useful verb for describing a positive effect. However, the range is limited and several phrases are imprecise or awkward, such as “cultural gathering,” “create identity,” and “unexpected circumstance.” Spelling errors in “competiton,” “behaaviour,” and “japaniese” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise collocations and check spelling carefully. For example, describe events as promoting cultural exchange, say athletes seek recognition, and refer to possible diplomatic tensions rather than making a broad claim about war.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response communicates some basic relationships through short phrases, but it contains very few complete sentences, so there is little evidence of a controlled range of sentence structures. For instance, “they get an opportunity to connect with people from different country learn culture-traditions- language” lacks clear grammatical links between its ideas, while “sometimes leads to misunderstandings” has no clear subject. There are also problems with articles and number, as in “different country,” and the final example is a sentence fragment. Use complete subject–verb sentences, practise joining ideas with clauses such as “because” and “although,” and check agreement, articles, and plural forms. This will make your meaning clearer and demonstrate more grammatical control.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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