Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

This summer your local council organised a series of free concerts in your local park. You attended one of the concerts. The council has asked for feedback about the concerts.

Write a letter to the council giving your feedback. In your letter

• say which concert you attended

• explain why you enjoyed the concert

• make suggestions for improving next summer's concerts

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear Sir,

Good afternoon sir, In this Summer Your local council organised a series of free concerts in your local park. I attended one of the concerts, When my friend told me in the park the concerts are begin to start that time, I woke up and said to him attend the concerts and when I was ready i will came to attend the concerts and Actually that time i missed so many concerts but i attended one of the peaceful and emotional concert was very helpful for my mentality and so many are also enjoyed this concerts because in that generation so much toxiscity are there so this concerts are very helpful for humans who was worked as a employee or any other field because its freshup our mind thats the reason we all enjoyed the peaceful and emtional concert, For next year I suggested to increased the crowd with the marketting because so many people missed the concert.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify that you attended a concert and explain that its peaceful, emotional atmosphere helped people relax, so the response contains relevant feedback. However, the specific concert is not named or described, and the reason for enjoying it is difficult to follow in places. Your suggestion—“increased the crowd with the marketting”—is unclear and does not explain what the council should do beyond promoting attendance. The response also falls five words short of the 150-word minimum; the 15 words copied from the task prompt are excluded from the count. To address the task more fully, name the concert, develop your reasons with a clear example, and give a practical, specific improvement suggestion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response follows a basic sequence: it refers to attending a concert, explains why it was enjoyable, and ends with a suggestion for next summer. This gives the reader a general sense of the intended message. However, nearly all the information is packed into one long paragraph and one extended sentence, so the ideas do not progress clearly. Repeated links such as “and,” “because,” and “that’s the reason” create a run-on effect rather than showing the relationship between points precisely. The opening also repeats the task information before reaching your own feedback. Use separate paragraphs for the concert and your suggestion, and divide the explanation into shorter sentences with clear transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “free concerts,” “peaceful,” “emotional,” and “marketting,” which helps convey the general subject and your reaction. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms make the message unclear or unnatural, such as “toxiscity,” “freshup our mind,” and “increased the crowd.” Spelling errors, including “emtional,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural phrases that express the intended meaning: for example, describe the concert as helping people “unwind” or “relieve stress,” and suggest that the council “promote the event more widely.” Proofread spelling and check that each phrase fits its context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to connect ideas using clauses, for example, “because in that generation so much toxiscity are there,” but most of the response relies on a single, lengthy sentence. Frequent problems with verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries make parts difficult to understand. Examples include “the concerts are begin to start,” “I will came,” and “so many people missed the concert” after a suggestion about future events. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, particularly where a comma joins complete ideas. Use shorter sentences and check that verb tense matches the time: describe the concert in the past, then use a clear future or modal form for recommendations.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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