Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

This summer your local council organised a series of free concerts in your local park. You attended one of the concerts. The council has asked for feedback about the concerts.

Write a letter to the council giving your feedback. In your letter

• say which concert you attended

• explain why you enjoyed the concert

• make suggestions for improving next summer's concerts

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir,

I hope you are doing well. I would like to thank you for organizing an event in our town. I appreciate all the efforts and hardwork that management has put into this to make event successful. I would like to share feedback that might help you to improve the next event.

The music concert was amazing and I love the way entrace gate was decorated. The management staff was very helpful and cooperative. I am a very big fan of the musician Atif Aslam and attending this concert in our town is one of the greatest moment of my life.

However, I believe it would be more enjoyable if you would have provided a particular section for families. I have two-year old son and it is difficult watch him in such crowded place, while family section would allow him to play with other kids so we can enjoy the event meanwhile. During the event, I discussed with other visitors and they have the same opinions so I believe seperate section for families would make this event more enjoyable.

Overall, I really enjoy this concert and I am thankful to our township for this event.

Thank you

Kind regards,

Vaibhav

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You cover the main purposes of the letter: you identify the concert through the performer, Atif Aslam, explain that you enjoyed the music and decorated entrance, and suggest a family section for next summer. The suggestion is relevant and supported by your experience with your young son, which helps make the feedback personal. However, the concert itself is not named clearly, and the improvement section focuses on only one change; the task asks for suggestions, so another practical idea could broaden your response. Some points, such as why the concert was enjoyable beyond your admiration for the musician, could also be developed further. A clearer identification of the concert and more fully explained suggestions would make the response more complete and purposeful.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter has a clear overall arrangement: an opening, a paragraph describing the concert, a paragraph introducing an improvement, and a brief closing. The contrast signalled by “However” helps the reader follow the move from praise to criticism, and the family-section idea is linked to your personal circumstances. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some features of stronger progression. At times, though, ideas within paragraphs are joined mechanically, especially the repeated use of “and” and the long sentence beginning “During the event, I discussed…”. The closing also repeats your enjoyment without adding a new point. Use clearer sentence boundaries and vary linking expressions so relationships between ideas are easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main feedback, including “decorated,” “cooperative,” “crowded,” and “particular section.” These choices are relevant to the topic, and the reader can understand your positive comments and proposed change. However, the range is limited and several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “make event successful,” “greatest moment of my life,” and “same opinions.” There are also spelling errors in “hardwork,” “entrace,” and “seperate,” which reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, describe the event as “well organised” and say that other visitors “shared the same concern.” This would make the letter sound more natural and appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple sentences and more complex forms, including the conditional suggestion “it would be more enjoyable if…” and a clause explaining your difficulty supervising your son. Meaning remains clear overall, and some sentences are controlled, such as “The management staff was very helpful and cooperative.” Some grammatical errors remain, however: “I love” and “I really enjoy” should be in the past tense when describing the concert; “it is difficult watch him” needs “to watch”; and “if you would have provided” is not the appropriate conditional form here. Articles and sentence construction also need attention in “make event successful.” Practise accurate past-tense narration and conditional suggestions, while proofreading for missing words and articles.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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