Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

This summer your local council organised a series of free concerts in your local park. You attended one of the concerts. The council has asked for feedback about the concerts.

Write a letter to the council giving your feedback. In your letter

• say which concert you attended

• explain why you enjoyed the concert

• make suggestions for improving next summer's concerts

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Dear Sir or Madam,

Hope you are doing well. I am writing to give you my feedback on a recent concert i happened to attend in our local park last weekend.

It was musical concert along with food stalls in Dartmouth parkllete near Harvard gardens happened on 4th November. As it was free,me and my friends enjoyed alot at this event.

The band called the Jazzy boys,played some really good hip hop songs. Moreover, the jazz music they played also added to the enjoyable atmosphere. The food stalls were selling some nice food and the sunny weather added to the fun.

As the feedback form was asking about my suggestions, I would like the quality of food to be checked.In addition,it could be more organized and spacious if the stalls wer moved towards the far side. It will make the view of stage more clear and people can move around easily.

I want to thank the locaal council for such amzing opportunities and those are fre of cost. Hoping you like my suggestions.

yours faithfully,

Shawana.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address all three points: you identify the event as the concert by “the Jazzy boys,” explain that you enjoyed the music, food stalls and sunny weather, and suggest checking food quality and moving stalls farther from the stage. These details make the letter relevant and give the council useful feedback. The concert description is somewhat unclear, however: “It was musical concert” does not specify the style, while the later references to hip hop and jazz leave the programme difficult to picture. Your improvement ideas are also more developed than your explanation of what made the performance enjoyable. To strengthen the response, describe the concert more precisely and add a specific example of how the music or atmosphere affected your experience.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The letter has a clear overall progression: you introduce your purpose, describe the event and what you enjoyed, then offer suggestions and close with thanks. Paragraphing helps distinguish these stages, and linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “In addition” and “As” guide the reader through your points. Some connections are less smooth: “As the feedback form was asking about my suggestions” is an awkward transition, and the final sentence, “Hoping you like my suggestions,” feels detached from the formal closing. The opening and closing could also follow a more consistent formal-letter style. Use simpler, more direct transitions and ensure each paragraph develops one clear purpose to make the progression feel more natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main points, including “enjoyable atmosphere,” “food stalls,” “quality of food” and “view of stage.” There are also attempts at more specific language, such as “hip hop songs” and “spacious.” However, noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, including “parkllete,” “locaal,” “amzing” and “fre of cost.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “musical concert” and “more clear.” Aim to check spelling carefully and choose conventional collocations; for example, “free of charge” is more natural than “free of cost.” A more precise description of the concert and its atmosphere would also help you express your ideas with greater flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including “As it was free, me and my friends enjoyed…” and the sentence explaining how moving the stalls would improve the view and movement. The main message remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Examples include the missing article in “It was musical concert,” the incomplete opening “Hope you are doing well,” and the sentence fragment “Hoping you like my suggestions.” There are also errors in sentence construction and punctuation, such as “It was … in Dartmouth … happened on 4th November” and missing spaces after commas. Use complete sentences, check articles and subject forms, and separate ideas with accurate punctuation. These changes would make your varied sentence attempts more controlled.

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