Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this letter to share the feedback of a concert I attended in a public park organised by you.

Last Thursday, I attended the carnival because I wanted to spend time with my children. The games in the carnival were not only engaging but also knowledgeable for children. However, the best part of the concert was "Romeo and Juliet" play. Visitors enjoyed it thoroughly and applauded for the actors in the end. Overall, the carnival was livelier and vibrant that gives a joy and happiness to attendees.

However, elderly was tired as there were not proper guidance regarding the park area. Owing to lack of volunteers, everyone was finding it hard to find the suitable stalls, which makes them to walk a lot in the park. Moreover, people were throwing litter everywhere. My suggestion is to increase the number of volunteers and install dustbins for future concerts to avoid this inconvenience.

Regards,

Craig

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by establishing a clear purpose, sharing positive feedback about the concert and play, highlighting problems such as a lack of volunteers and littering, and offering constructive suggestions for future events. The tone of the letter is consistently appropriate for a formal complaint and feedback correspondence. However, the development of ideas is slightly uneven. While the positive aspects and recommendations are clearly stated, the mention of elderly visitors struggling is somewhat under-developed, lacking specific detail on why guidance was lacking. This balances the elements of a complete response while demonstrating some features of the next band through a clear and purposeful progression of communicative intent throughout the letter.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The letter maintains a coherent overall arrangement with a logical division of paragraphs, separating the introduction, positive feedback, issues encountered, and final recommendations clearly. Cohesive devices are used adequately to connect ideas, such as 'However' and 'Moreover', though referencing is occasionally mechanical or slightly faulty, such as the transition into the third paragraph. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to structure the letter well. To reach a higher standard, the transitions between paragraphs could be made smoother and more natural, reducing reliance on basic connective adverbs and ensuring that referencing within sentences, such as matching pronouns to antecedents like 'elderly' and 'them', is managed with greater precision throughout the text.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying the writer's message and opinions without impeding communication. The student attempts less common vocabulary items such as 'engaging', 'thoroughly', and 'inconvenience', showing some awareness of style. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation inaccuracies, such as 'share the feedback of a concert' instead of 'share feedback on a concert', 'knowledgeable' instead of 'educational' or 'informative', and using 'elderly' as a countable noun instead of 'elderly people' or 'senior citizens'. Furthermore, 'livelier and vibrant' displays a minor comparative mismatch. These vocabulary choices demonstrate a sufficient range for the task while reflecting typical lexical slips that prevent the writing from achieving greater precision and flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writing exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating control over standard sentence patterns such as 'The games in the carnival were not only engaging but also...' and 'Owing to lack of volunteers, everyone was finding it hard...'. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, but they rarely impede communication. Examples include 'feedback of a concert' involving a preposition error inside a grammatical pattern, 'livelier and vibrant that gives' where the verb agreement and relative clause structure are slightly flawed, and 'everyone was finding it hard to find the suitable stalls, which makes them' involving a tense shift from past to present ('makes'). Punctuation is generally controlled, but articles are occasionally missed, as seen in 'play' needing a definite article. A wider variety of error-free complex structures is needed for a higher level.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.