Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

This summer your local council organised a series of free concerts in your local park. You attended one of the concerts. The council has asked for feedback about the concerts.

Write a letter to the council giving your feedback. In your letter

• say which concert you attended

• explain why you enjoyed the concert

• make suggestions for improving next summer's concerts

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

dear sir

i am writting to this letter about the event which we attend on this summer, my views and suggestion below paragraph.

you are orgnisiged this summer event on good terms because on these day wheather is good and all children have on vacations. one more things this event entry is free. i am coming this concert with my faimly and friends. they all are very happy because numbers of food stall, music programme and many more activities here. for kids special area provided here where they play numbers of games. more educational stalls are avaialble here, where children gain more education tips.

some area for job fair also, where yound talents gain the knowlege about the jobs, where they apply and get the job

all area very clean, because they arrange the bin everywhere, we are full enjoy this concert.

i have one suggetion for next summer please arrange the public transport so more people come and enjoy this concert, becuase this concert is very inportant for everyone.

i look forward to hearing from you.

your faithfully

pardeep kumar

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the event as a summer concert and explain several reasons for enjoying it, including free entry, food stalls, music, activities for children, educational stalls and cleanliness. You also make a relevant suggestion about arranging public transport. However, the task asks which concert you attended, and you do not identify its type or performers; “this summer event” remains vague. The reasons are mostly listed rather than explained, and the transport suggestion needs more detail about how it would help attendees. The response therefore addresses the task only partially, with limited development. State the concert’s specific style or programme, then explain one or two benefits and develop a practical improvement suggestion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The letter has a recognisable sequence: an opening, comments about the event, a suggestion and a closing. This gives the reader some organisation, and phrases such as “one more things” and “i have one suggetion” signal additions and a change of focus. However, most information is crowded into one long paragraph, so the progression between the concert’s features and your evaluation is not clear. Several ideas are joined loosely, and “some area for job fair also” feels disconnected from the surrounding points. Use separate paragraphs for the concert attended, your reasons for enjoying it, and your suggestion. Clearer links such as “In addition” and “To improve access next year” would make the relationships between ideas easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a basic range of vocabulary relevant to the event, including “food stall,” “music programme,” “activities,” “public transport” and “clean.” These choices help communicate the main subject. However, vocabulary is repetitive and several inaccurate word choices or spellings make parts difficult to understand, such as “writting,” “orgnisiged,” “faimly,” “avaialble” and “inportant.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “on good terms,” “numbers of food stall” and “we are full enjoy.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. For example, describe the event as “well organised,” say there were “a variety of food stalls,” and write that you “thoroughly enjoyed” the concert.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response mainly uses simple statements and attempts a few longer sentences, for example the sentence beginning “they all are very happy because…”. However, the longer structures are often faulty, and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction sometimes obscure meaning. Examples include “the event which we attend,” “i am coming this concert,” and “all area very clean.” The letter also shifts between past and present when describing the concert. Use the past tense consistently for the event you attended, and practise complete sentence patterns such as “I attended the concert with my family” and “The area was clean because bins had been placed throughout the park.” Check subject–verb agreement and articles when editing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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